I'm very new to this whole thing, but after the news I found out two weeks ago I have to express what I'm feeling somehow. When I was pregnant with my son, the Dr's noticed that on my 18 week ultrasound that he had a problem with his left kidney. They told us it was nothing serious but that we would need to watch it throughout the pregnancy and that in 80% of infants it repairs itself before birth, 20% require treatment after birth and out of that 20%, 16% require a daily antibiotic, and out of that 16%, 4% require corrective surgery. Well my son falls into the 4%. He has what is called severe hydronephrosis, (IE. his kidney is slowly stretching and filling with fluid due to a blockage in the ureter (IE.tubing from his kidney to his bladder that releases urine). Since he was born he has undergone many tests to figure out just how sever this problem is, and we found out on the 21st, that he has to have surgery. And we have since found out that he is in some discomfort on a daily basis.

      I'm so scared for him. He is only 3 months old. The surgery is going to last anywhere from 2-3 hours and he will have a 1 1/2 - 2" scar on his side. The doctors main goal is to restore kidney function and to repair the blockage. As a mom, its so hard to think that I have to watch my little boy endure this. If I could take away his pain I would. All I know is that I am not looking forward to June 10th. That is his surgery day. Its going to be the longest 3 hours of my life. I won't be happy until I know he made it out okay, and that the surgery was a success.

      Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I knew that my little one would bring me such happiness. Its an amazing feeling to know that  your child, so small, and innocent, is relying solely on you to nurture, love, raise, and make them happy. My life is lived for my son everyday, hoping that the decisions I am making are the right ones, hoping that I am doing everything right, that he will grow up to be a respectful, loving, caring, and kind human being. All of that lies in my hands, and I just hope that I succeed in my dreams to see my son, grow into a man. His surgery isn't life threatening they tell me... but it still doesn't stop me from thinking of the what ifs. I know in my heart my son is going to live a full and happy life, that's why he is having the surgery now...so he won't remember it at all, and it will just be a story that his mommy tells him... of how brave he was the day he had to have surgery. As I write this, I hope that it makes sense to those reading it, if it doesn't I apologize... my brain is working a mile a minute right now. However I do ask this of those who pray... please pray for my son... that this surgery is a success, and most of all that he comes out of it just as strong as he went in!


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Jul. 3, 2008 at 4:42 AM

your baby is beautiful!!

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