If he cheats would you stay? what if it was more than once?

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pamalou
Jun. 2, 2008 at 3:52 PM No, he would leave!! Your better than that!!

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Reba06
Jun. 2, 2008 at 3:55 PM My ex did cheat on me.. Not only once. but 4 times with different woman each time. I forgave him for the first two. but 3rd time he struck out. I served him with divorce papers and he was surprised..

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nbell70
Jun. 2, 2008 at 3:57 PM

First of all--no man is worth taking back after cheating--especially if it was more than once! People show you who they are--so believe them the first time.  As a woman, you cannot base your life decisions on what someone else has done or might do--decide what you need in your life and then cut everything else out that doesn't help you get there.  Life is too short to waste on someone elses hang-ups and immorality.

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chave...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 4:03 PM

Ok i'm hoping you won't get mad at me nor offended for what i am about to tell you. Keep in mind this is my point of view and i am not judgin you. and please don't bash me. remember you asked...

to answer your first question, HELL NO. And here is why: because if he cheats on me he doesn't love me and so why would I want to be with someone who doesn't love me or respect me enough to stay faithful?? I hate cheaters and they need to go. I don't care if I been with him for 30 years, if he wants to throw it all away then so be it. Cheaters suck! All they do is hurt everyone around them. And we haven't even touched the issue of broken trust. If I can't trust someone I can't be with them because i have no right to make their life a living hell and i certainly don't deserve to put myself through that either!

to answer your second question, DA HELL?!?!?!?!?!?! Look honey I can understand (maybe) you forgiving him and wanting to work it out the first time it happened, but nine times out of ten once a cheater always a cheater....some men are just like that. More some than others. It is possible for a cheater to change their ways but THEY have to want to. WHY are you sitting there letting him disrespect you over and over? He does it because you put up with it. And no he will not change or stop this. YOU have to step up to the plate and tell him it's over. You do not deserve a man like that honey, no way. Don't you want to be happy? Don't you want someone you can trust, someone who will love you right? Then come on. I think you know what you should do.

And yes it will hurt if you choose to leave. But it will hurt more if you choose to stay. And what will your kids think about you? Your daughters will see you taking this shit and taking it and taking it and they will grow up and allow a man to treat them the way he is treating you! I know you don't want that for them. And your son? Yeah he will turn out like his daddy because he won't see you putting up any real opposition. And they will not respect you either if you don't respect yourself. If you stay with this kind of person you are hurting yourself and more importantly, your children. Don't do this to them. best wishes to you...and write to me if you need someone to talk to. 

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Reba06
Jun. 2, 2008 at 5:01 PM

When a person has invested many years into a marriage is it worth trying to fix? Of course it is.. To many people now days get divorced too quickly.. I feel its important to recognize why we marry and not take marriage for granted. Did he cheat? yes.. Did he take marriage for granted possibly so, but everyone has diff reasons for cheating also if it does happen. Its not always because the other chick was good looking.. Anyhow.. To me marriage is a committment we make forever, it not only affects us alone but also our children we bring into this world.. For every choice we make, it affects those involved in our lives dierectly..  A Couple is a team. so therefore we need to work together to be at team..

Because I stayed with my ex for longer then anticipated and tried to make our marriage work i dont feel like a failure. But i do know i did all i could to try to keep it together. 

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pamalou
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:55 PM Is your photo recent?  If so, how far along are you and how are you feeling.  This stress cannot be good for you or the baby. Take care!Pam

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