I know that I don't say much about my marriage, but thats b/c for the most part, there isn't one....
I have been tought to put on a happy face when things are bad, to never let anyone else know, to keep it locked away. I can't do it anymore... There are a select few who know how bad things are but I can't keep it bottled up anymore. It's eating away at me....


Like I said, there really isn't even a marrige anymore, he does his thing, I do mine. We don't even really speak unless it has to do with our daughter. Hell, we don't even have sex anymore. I've said before, that we have been togther off and on for 7 years... Well its been off and on b/c I leave b/c I can't live like this anymore... Eventually, he says he will change, and he does, for awhile anyways. Things just always seem to go back to this.


At this point, I can't leave him. 1: I am a sahm b/c honestly, I don't have anyone to babysit for cheap and if I put her in daycare to work, my whole paycheck would go there anyways. So I figure, why not just stay at home and raise her myself instead of getting a job just to pay someone else to raise her. So right now I don't have the means to take care of us and make sure we have what we need. 2: He threatens me with if I ever leave he will take her from me. 3: My family really likes and cares for him, So they would help him.


I want to put on a brave face and act like everything is okay and just peachy. I try to keep things hidden from everyone and try not to let them know my pain. So anyways, thank you all for letting me vent a little and to get all of the of my chest.. I really actually feel a little better now.....

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Comments:

KingM...
Jun. 5, 2008 at 3:53 PM I'm sorry you feel like you are just existing in your marriage.  In the last month my marriage has hit a rough spot, not as serious as yours but a rough patch is a rough patch. I can only hope for both of us that we find what we need to give us happiness. 

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Jedi_...
Jun. 5, 2008 at 9:30 PM Believe it or not, my fiance' was once in this situation with his ex-wife and their daughter. He didn't leave for a long time because of the EXACT reasons you did. When we started talking again, I had just left a bad relationship, and we were each other's shoulder to cry on. One day, he said he felt that he had the strength to finally leave the miserable situation, AND HE DID!! He struggled for a bit, but he's finally back on his feet, we're BEYOND happy, and he's better than ever.

Keep your chin up, and be strong. If you need someone to talk to, let me know.

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