It makes me so sad to hear all the step-kid/step-parent bashing that happens. I know it isn't always easy. I am a step-child. I am also a step-parent. I wish everyone could remember that the kids don't have a say in the choices we make as adults. They are just along for the ride.
I don't want to be labeled step-mom with all the negativity that surrounds that term. I want to be a mom. I am there to capture and remember the milestones with both daughters. I am there to wipe away tears and kiss away boo-boos with both daughters. How does that make me any different because I didn't give birth to one of my daughters?
 I love her as though I did give birth to her, because that is how it should be. I love her as though I did give birth to her because I don't ever want her to think her sister is more important to me. I love her as though I did give birth to her because I don't ever want her to feel the way I feel as a step-parent. I want to be remembered because I do love her as though she is my own. Even if it means she hears this from me every time we are together:  
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it.
By: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Add A Comment


Jun. 2, 2008 at 5:01 PM Beautiful

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 2, 2008 at 5:03 PM

That's a poem I've never read before. Good post.

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 2, 2008 at 5:09 PM

My sister is a step-parent. The bio mom has lots of problems, and did the best she could with what she had at the time. My sister has always been there for the girls since pre-teen years, and now they are grown and married and having their own children. They thank my sister for being there for them, through lots (and LOTS) of trials and tribulations, and for the immense support she has given them when they have tried to reconcile with bio mom, succeeding at times and failing at others. We forget the word "step" since blood doesn't always make family. She has this poem embroidered on a pillow for herself and each girl.

My hubby has a crappy family, and a few years ago he decided to make his own - he 'adopted' a new brother and mom, and my sister's girls are thinking that was the way to go!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 8:47 AM This was a great post (and beautiful poem too!)

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 9:22 AM Thanks for your support ladies!

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in