Well made it thru May.  Only 6 months to go.  I’m sure most of you know that Mike is in Virginia and the kids and I will not be joining him until November when our lease is up.  We miss him so much and I talk to him on the phone three-four times a day, online when I can and we webcam as often as possible.  I have tried every way possible to find a way to break the lease on our apartment so we can be with him sooner, but it’s just not going to happen.  Then of course there is health insurance and such that I have thru my job that we need, so I will have to wait it out until November.  He promised me before he left that he would wait until we were there to go exploring but I know it’s difficult for him to be cooped up in his little rented room and not get out and want to do and see things.  So I’m going to be strong and just deal with being apart and hope the time goes quickly. 


I keep myself as busy as possible to pass the time especially on the weekends.  During the week it’s not hard, though my job isn’t so demanding that some days I wonder if the day is ever going to be over but during the weekends it seems to be harder.  Twins are taking advantage of dad the disciplinarian not being around and testing my limits.  I threaten and whap them with a plastic spoon when necessary but only when necessary.  I’m still having a hard time with hard core discipline.  


I’m doing this strange thing at the apartment; well I’m sure strange to some.  I used to do this when I lived at home with my parents I would just grow tired of how my room as set up and move it around and clean and get it all perfect in my eyes until I decided I needed to move it again.  Well I’m doing that with the apartment.  I started with the living room moving the couch and loveseat and a couple of other things around, I have moved the furniture and added the filing cabinet (with the idea of one day I’m going to motivated to file EVERYTHING) in the dining room and now this weekend, I have moved my bedroom around.  Moved the bed, moved the dressers, bought some hot pink cotton jersey sheets and washed the comforter cover.  Put my beanie baby collection out on my dresser instead of in the corner of the nook and am now thinking of adding some other type of girly accessories, like a curtain or something to put up.  Must be some sort of OCD thing, I would like to think of it as a Virgo thing, but I don’t know, sounds OCD to me.  Mike pretty much likes the furniture one way and doesn’t want it changed, which is why I think now that he is gone, I’m letting my OCD kick in and going crazy!!!


My son is living with me, and I wonder at times, as much as I thought it would be a great idea if maybe it’s causing too much chaos in his life.  I know working in Rancho and driving back and forth with gas prices edging towards $4.50 a gallon is really tough.  He is really good though about letting me know if he isn’t coming home (we have only had one slip up on that) and also since he works at Safeway if I need milk, I can ask him to just bring some home.  However, he has an opportunity to go work in Lake Tahoe for July and some of August and I’m so excited for him.  He feels like he letting me down, by not being here for me, when I begged him to stay with me until we leave, but I told him no this is a great opportunity for you and you need to go.  His dad had an opportunity to advance his career and go to Washington DC and decided not to go, because of his mother, and I’m NOT going to that mom that holds her son back from having a learning life experience.  Once we leave in November he is moving in with some friends of his (whom I haven’t met YET and I hope to met before I leave) and will leave in a really cute little apartment downtown.  I’m excited for him also to be living on his own. 


I’m hoping that Jenna will be available to stay with me a week or two during that time that RJ will be gone.  But, I know she has a life now and a boyfriend and all that comes with being sixteen and thinking your in love and so on.  I remember my sweet 16th year, I had a really rebel boyfriend named Bobby, everyone hated him but oh I thought he was the coolest thing since sliced bread.  Totally blinded by him, he cheated on me all the time, I know he did, but all he had to do was call me up or ride up in his car and snap his fingers and I was totally madly in love again.  My brother hated him, my parents were clueless, but he was so cool in my eyes, smoking and drinking and everything with being a rebel.  I don’t think Jen is being quite the rebel I was, or a least I hope that I have had enough talks with her that she understands what her boundaries are and is just doing enough to test them with her dad.  She and I talk on the phone at least a couple of times a week and she knows she can always call me if she has any problems.  I really feel that she knows she can talk to me about anything. 


Like I said earlier, the twins are testing their boundaries also now that Mike the disciplinarian is gone.  Yelling and shrieking at the top of their lungs seems to be the thing we are really struggling with these days.  Jumping off the furniture, climbing on the furniture and picking out our own DVDs to watch by climbing on the cat post are just a small list of things that they are doing.  With every infraction there is timeout or if this is the second time I have had to say something, the spoon.   We went to Micky D’s on Sat and I could swear I heard a sigh of relief from parents when I took my screaming shrieking children home.  RJ is helping out a lot when he is there, but he is working quite a bit also so I’m home alone a lot with them.  Sometimes he beats up on them a little bit too hard but for the most part they love having him there (they especially love his IPod) and he has been giving me a timeout away from them by taking over bedtimes and keeping an evil eye on them.  . 


I don’t remember if I mentioned that Chris’s daycare is closing.  She decided to go back to school and decided to shut down her daycare.  It really was a perfect solution for us but I am completely understanding and supportive if not a bit envious of her going back to school.   I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but I placed an ad on Craigslist and a wonderful woman named Beth answered my ad.  She has a son with the same sort of disabilities as Chris and seems to understand how to meet his needs.  She is a little bit further away, but in the long run it will be better.  Going to be tough taking him there in June and keeping Steph where she is going until her graduation at the end of June, but July and so forth will be much easier.  We have met Beth and had “play dates” with her and her son twice and the twins were a bit overwhelming for her son, I think as he plays with them more it will be easier to accept their craziness.  Going to cost me $1200 a month, which is a little bit less then I’m paying now, and since they are going to part time when school starts we are going to re-evaluate and see if that is still a “fair price”. 


Steph, what do I say about that little girl  She has taken up singing, she sings with just about anything and even when the songs that she knows isn’t on she sings.  She loves having her brothers IPOD on “A Whole New World” and just singing along with it at the top of her lungs.  RJ wonders if she knows she is tone deaf but I don’t think it’s really that bad if not just a bit annoying that she is singing sooooo loudly.   I really don’t think I am ready to be a “Miley Cyrus” mommy but I love encouraging her to be outgoing and all the little diva she can possibly be!!  She will be “graduating” from preschool at the end of June and will be starting with Beth July 1st where after that she will be starting Kindergarten.  I’m hoping that I will be able to drop her off in the morning and Beth will pick her up in the afternoon, but we will see if I can arrange that with my work schedule. 


Chris is doing really well.  It’s getting easier to understand him and he is such a goof.  He really has a funny sense of humor and the most beautiful smile.  His end of the school year party is next week and then he may go to extended school year at this new Kindergarten which his closer to the apartment.  He will do extended school year until the second week in July and then will have a break until he starts Kindergarten.  I really think this year around thing will work with us because right about the time they are breaking from being in school for Thanksgiving break we will be leaving to join Mike in Virginia.  So hopefully they wont fall to far behind in their learning. 


As for me, well I’m managing.  Keeping myself busy and dieting and going to the gym on a semi-regular basis.  I have some very good friends that check in on my make sure I’m doing ok and one that even lets me call at anytime night or day and cry and vent on the phone with him.  He is a really special friend and even though I almost screwed up our friendship he has forgiven me and I feel we are closer then ever!! I’m playing the game and am two kills away from getting my mythical.  We are getting to a very exciting time in the game where we are in the same ring as some of the tops guilds on our server.  So between the game, missing Mike, the gym, missing Mike, laundry, dishes and disciplining the kids, missing Mike and working and missing Mike, I have some good days and some not so good days. 


So that’s my very very long update.  I have been listening to Jack FM lately.  It’s a funny little radio station with no DJ’s and they play whatever they want to play.  I have heard songs I haven’t heard since I was a teenager.  They don’t even take requests.  They have a call in line, but no one answers and you just leave whatever message you want.  It’s really odd but a neat concept.  So again, no song lyric because almost every song I hear somehow makes me think about and miss Mike even more. 


Will blog again soon, see ya peoples!!


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