o.k ladies i need some advice here .

My oldest step daughter had a baby she will be a  week old tomorrow (Tues) . She a sweet little baby, my step daughter and her fiance and the baby are living with my in laws till the trailer they bought comes up empty on the 15th they have been there almost three weeks . this was totally in laws ideas for them to stay there after the baby was born but step daughter got sick so they came sooner .

Now its a big uproar and step daughter is calling me in tears because in laws won't let them take the baby places , i love my in laws and i love my kids and adore my sweet grandbaby , i would love for them to come here and stay until things get ready for them to move or at least for a couple of days .

But i don't want to hurt everyones feeling ,
How would you approach this . I am stuck between a rock and a hard place i can't stand to see my kids so upset and that in turns upsets the baby .

What would u do ??? please lend advice , NO BASHING .

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 6:40 PM i would definately tell them they could come stay with you....but then again, i do tend to be a little too blunt....i mean the in-laws have absolutely no right to tell them what to do with the baby...wtf???

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 6:43 PM If it were me...I would approach it as you are trying to help out the in-laws...something along the lines of it seems stressful for them and you thought it might make it easier for them if your stepdaughter's family split their time before they get to move into their new place. Tell them you would really love to spend more time with the new baby because you know once they move, it will take them a little while to get settled and visit....I think it might work to save everyone's feelings....good luck and congrats on the new grand baby!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 6:44 PM I would definately offer for them to come and stay with you. Your step-daughter is that baby's mother and the in-laws have no business telling her that she can't take her own child anywhere. Is there a chance that something else is going on? Are they concerned that it is too soon to be taking the baby out? Some people think a Mom and newborn need more recoperation time but they certainly don't have the right to stop your step-daughter.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 6:45 PM Tell them you would really love for them to come and stay so you can spend time with the baby. Don't make it sound like your butting in to their problems with the inlaws. Or ask them to come and stay a few nights, maybe that would give them a break away then when they go back they can handle it until they leave in a week or two.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 6:47 PM Im trying to figure out why your inlaws are telling them when and where they can take their own baby?  And.....is anyone thinking of your feelings?

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 7:53 PM What does he say for one thing..i know I was in the same situation but Zander wasn't born yet and it was the case of having to convince Allen it was for the best..as long as they know they have somewhere to do then your doing great...I so hope your life settles down for you soon..love ya and talk to you later!!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:44 PM Thats a tough one! sorry I dont know how I would handle that one without stepping on toes.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:55 AM

Ok, I'm trying to play every side of the fence here - no bashing intended!

Just a few points to consider:

1. The in-laws are perhaps concerned because your step-daughter got very sick before the baby was born and the baby I believe someone said, was pre-mature.  I know my mom was absolute about not taking the baby out the house and avoiding company for at least six-weeks after my children were born, and even then she was critical of where I took them.  My mom just worried a lot. The in-laws must love her (the step daughter) very much - they let her and the boyfriend move in and now, baby makes three.

2.  She (the step daughter) just had a baby and her hormones are raging right now.  Any other day and she probably wouldn't be so upset with them. Or at least if she was, she would probably handle it better.

3.  You are a new grandmother, one of the finest gifts you will ever receive and it's hard for you to miss even a second with that new baby.


Here would be my suggestions:

Talk to your step daughter and try to soothe her by listening and pointing out how much her family loves her. 

Try to wait a few days or even a week longer, then as a family, in-laws included, announce that you simply cannot stay away from that baby any longer and that you would like the kids(baby included ) to come stay with you for a while (to give the in-laws a break and to give you, the new grandma a little time to spoil her).  

 Keep it light, so nobody gets their feeling hurt, but carry out your plan (in the sweetest way possible).

Hope this helps - Good Luck and Congrats on the new baby!



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