My son is skinny, and I was searching online for some tips on toddler weight gain diets. I found this, and had to share it:

The Miracle Toddler Diet :)



You may have noticed that most two-year olds are very trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all with the this wonder diet. With this miracle diet, you are guaranteed to lose between 5 to 10 pounds, but please, only go on it for four days at a time.

Day One:
Breakfast:—One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat two bites of egg, using your fingers. Push the rest on the floor. Take one bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch. Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk. Take three sips of milk and spill the rest.
Dinner. A dry stick, two pennies, four sips of flat Sprite.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the floor.

Day Two:
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor from last night and eat it. Drink ½ bottle of vanilla extract or one to two handfuls of water from toilet.
Lunch: half a tube of lipstick and a handful of dog food. One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky. Take it outside and drop it in the dirt. Retrieve it and continue licking until it is clean again. Bring it inside and drop it on the rug.
Dinner: Take a small rock or an uncooked bean and shove it up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes and eat it.

Day Three:
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup. Eat one with your fingers and then rub your fingers in your hair. One glass of milk. Drink half, then stuff the other pancake in the glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays’ sucker from the rug and lick off the fuzz. Put it on the cushion of mom’s best chair.
Lunch: Three matches and a peanut butter sandwich. Spit several bites on the floor. Pour a glass of milk on the table and slurp it up.
Dinner: A dish of ice cream, a handful of potato chips and some red punch. Try and laugh some punch through your nose.

Final Day:
Breakfast: pour a glass of milk over a bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink the milk and feed the cereal to the dog.
Lunch: Find that sucker and finish it.
Afternoon snack: A quarter tube of toothpaste, a bite of soap and an olive.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk.


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Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:30 PM Ah, the memories of toddler-dom!

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 7:53 AM ha ha!

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 2:38 PM I'd laugh if I weren't dealing with it RIGHT NOW!!!!!

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