Ok ....Hopefully everyone will stick by this and read the whole thing cause I tend to ramble......First let me start off by saying Carly was always my HAPPY child....NEVER ever bad......NEVER ever had any learning issues........always the little actress...(what she wanted to always be when she grew up till this year).......would sing along to everything...Carly feels everyones pain...If you are walking along and there is someone with a broken leg ...her legs start hurting....this is NO LIE........she is IN LOVE with all babies (like me)........she loves animals and she is the best writer in the world.....BUT........NOW she is soooo down and sooooo inside herself that I just don't know what to do anymore.........As I sit here, tears are rolling down my face.....tough love doesn't work......she hasn't been on the computer (only to upload pics) for over 2 months........she went to Catholic school from K-6th grade........had like 3 teachers in a row that were really mean....meanest in the school......Carly has to have STROKES...that is just the way she is.......believe me I get sick of it sometimes too......but the moment she thinks u don't like her she shuts down.....big time.......so i decided to change schools thinking she'd find more ppl like her...(outside the box kinda kids) Well, the worst thing I probably ever did cause NONE of these teachers KNOW her...they don't know what she is capable of....she doesn't turn in assignments.......she fails tests.....is this my fault.......the kid never struggled.....except for Math.....I don't think I should have to stand over her while she does her homework......I have 2 other kids that need me also....she is 13.....my God........I'm mad and i'm sad at the same time......

She is ALWAYS in her big sisters shadow.......Cassie is an A student in Math......although she is in the 3rd trac in High School...She is very popular and plays every sport you can think of.....and has a boyfriend....Gets INVITED everywhere.............

there sits Carly...calling everyone....everyone is busy.......she hates herself....hates her hair, hates her teeth(braces) hates her skin (excema and keratosis pelaris) excema she got from my dh and the other from me.......she is very skinny and even failed Gym cause she didn't want to get in the pool w/ her skinny body and horrible skin......as she says...all the other girls where hollister and have bodies like 18 year olds.........noone picks her to be their group.........then she gets PUT w/ someone.......my god, how much more can this kid take..........

As I type this i realize how bad she really does have it..........HER room is a total disaster, she can't stay organized.........she loses books, notebooks.....and doesn't tell anyone and aswers I don't know when they ask her why her homework was late or not turned in...

when I show her the comments that moms leave on her showdowns or pics.......she is like: wow mom.....they have to say those things, what are they gonna say: wow your daughter is sooo ugly...or she says..........they are your friends.......that's why !!

anyway....THE ONE and only thing she does is SUMMER stock which is June 30th till Aug. 1........it's  theater program....NOW she can't do it...She'll be in summer school......or if she fails science and SS she will repeat.........OMG...i can't even imagine that.....

I showed her our township paper thinking we could find something for her to do and it's all sports or crafts....(she is not artistic except in writing) when I suggest a writing thing she said...OMG mom...everyone will make fun of me.........and she says she is such a nerd........

I just can't even type anymore.......

thanks for listening.....!!!!

 

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Comments:

Mom2t...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:18 PM

Ok, I just went to look at pictures of Carly on your page. I only found one via the showdowns. Before I say this let me say I am not one to make compliments just to say them. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. I don't beat around the bush, and would say nothing at all before blowing smoke up someone's butt. (It get's me in trouble from time to time, lol) Now. Carly reminds me of the girls from America's Next Top Model. She has absolutely stunning bone structure, and is a beautiful girl! Has she considered modeling at all? She has the beauty for it, and from the way you talk she has a model's figure. Carly, if you're reading this, you are GORGEOUS! Seriously. Take head shots and send them to an agent!

Now, on to 13 years old. Honey it is so not just your child! My son went to private school until he started middle school (6th grade.) 6th grade was a nightmare. He's so unorganized and flighty. Has Carly been tested for a gifted program at all? Believe it or not, being unorganized is the sign of a gifted mind. And don't let the doing poorly in school fool you. Your daughter and my son sound like they were separated at birth!  I'm going to suggest a book for you the next time you are at the library  or a book store. It's called "Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children" by James R. Delisle. While reading it doesn't make your child more organized, it will help you get into her brain a little bit.

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momma...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:18 PM

awe i am so sorry she feels like this...i honestly dont know any adivce to give ya...but i am sorry such a beautiful and talented and wonderful young lady feels like this...

love ya

kristen

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vicki...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:23 PM I am here for you.....what a hard situation.  She has to get into something that makes her feel special again.  Soemthing that she feels like everyone can't do.  I wish she didn't feel that way about writing because she could probably go far with that.  This is such a hard situation.  I could tell her being popelar isn't all its cracked up to be.  You constantly feel like people are judging you and they only care about how you look.  Believe me looks fade.....I wish kids understood that.  She can build on her writing skills.  Man...i wish I could help her.

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MomW773
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:28 PM

I'm so sorry for what you and Carly are going through. It's such a rough time in a young girls life.  So much  pressure and so much wanting everyone to like you.  I remember when I was in middle school and it was tough.  Probably one of the hardest times in my life. 

Have you thought about maybe having Carly see a counselor?  Maybe that would help her to open up and feel better about herself.  Having someone to talk to, other than her mom, may help.

I hope things get better!

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dotti...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:35 PM thanks to all...I guess I forgot to add that when she was in 4th grade i think she started counseling through school...it was a really old lady who she loved.......and the woman always told me that she is an old soul and kids her age JUST don't GET her..........she is like a catepillar about to turn into a beautiful if not stunning butterfly.........THEN........that lady leaves and some smacked ass takes her place and tells me......O, carly doesn't like me and won't open up......i mean excuse me, u are the counselor..............she tried to play stupid games with her...Carly is no dummy she knew exactly what the woman was trying to do.......AS far as this year w/ counseling.......this is why i sent her to the middle school........their counseling program is outstanding.........Carly WILL not open UP......AT ALL

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CatRog
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:54 PM My daughter and I wrote you an email just before she went to bed and please be reassured Dottie that Cat did not read this post ^^... I just did... and I can relate.  I hope the email my daughter sent for Carly to read will help.  Our girls have a lot in common.

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KCHop...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:09 PM

Poor Carly, and poor mamma.  I was always an oddball, but I managed to be secure in myself and have a lot of friends from all over the spectrum.  i had size and weight issues and the biggest chest in school.  Trust me, Carly, that's not easy either.  We've all been there.  in some way or another.  it's how we choose to face our demons and deal with them that shape us.  Sometimes we have to come to that on our own.  no lame ass counselor can do that.  It's something you find in yourself.  She will find it.  Give her space and time and keep finding outlets.  Let her write.  just for herself at first, then let her find places to submit anonnymously to build her confidence.  Writing and acting will be her salvation.  It was mine.

Be there for her when she needs you.  And give her space when she needs it, too.  let her find herself.  She'll do it when it's time for her to.

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LadybugD
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:03 PM The only thing that I can think of to throw in here is maybe find a place she can volunteer at helping others. If she likes to help like you say this is a good way for her to feel better by making others feel better. maybe a kids program or something. It may help put purpose back into her.

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outer...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:04 PM She is truly a beautiful girl.  I know how she feels-that was me as a teen, only I was fat, not skinny.  I had the world's worst self-esteem, and was preyed on because of it.  She will one day find herself, realize who and what she is. Maybe, like for me, it will be her writing that makes her realize how amazing she truly is.  Writing is a special gift-you are like God, in a way-you create worlds and people and can control their very existences.  When you are capable of that, who knows what else you can do!! It takes an amazing mind to be a writer.  I suck at math too. I have dyscalcula.  (SP?) Mathematical dyslexia, anyway.  And probably ADHD.  It presents differently in girls, and she sounds just like Faith with the disorganization and losing things and not turning stuff in.  Girls arent always hyper with it, they're just space cadets-a black hole follows them aroung and swallows their stuff, I swear.  Faith is treated for it, and went from failing to A honor roll. Just a thought.  Never stop telling her how amazing she is-it means more than she lets on.

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karri...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 2:28 AM

Hi Dottie.

Your daughter is a beautiful young lady and I hope her self esteems grows more so she gains self confidence. I wrote you a message that might help with her problems in algebra. When you get the time please write me back. I want to be able to help your daughter if possible. I know it's hard seeing your  child struggling but she's still the sweet girl you once knew, she's just temporarily under cover.

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