Something that happened this weekend that forces me to finally see the big picture.  There was a commotion with my ex and his current girl (the one he was living with while "trying to get himself together for my son and me").  I allowed her to pull me into their drama and so now he is pissed at me again and won't be talking to my son.  I was really hard on myself for "opening my big mouth" and giving her the ammo she needed to take to him.  I was so down on myself for possibly ruining the relationship between my son and his father.  I couldn’t sleep last night and I was sad and crying. I was so distraught. Sound familiar?  I went out to my car at lunch to cry more.  I put back the seat and laid there.  I started thinking about this situation and how it could have been avoided.  Suddenly I began to see the big picture.  What happened last night has not changed my life.  He still hasn’t seen his son.  One phone call isn’t a relationship.  And I initiated the call.  This situation is the same one that it has been.  I don’t know why I was so broken up over it.  I let her lay a guilt trip on me, that this was all my fault.  To her I should have known b/c we didn’t live together that he was with someone.  I will admit, I was naïve and too trusting of him.  You live and learn.  I have.  I know now that it was not a good idea for me to talk to her.  She used me to get the info she wanted.  I was again naïve to others real motives.  I am too trusting.  Now I can see the big picture.  This does not affect my life.  I am still moving into my house( I have to find one first).  He hasn’t been a good father anyway.  He hasn’t been good to me.  I am still moving on.  I almost let this take me into a depression but I realized that neither of those idiots are worth it.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:35 PM

You go girl! I am glad you can see the big picture.  Good for you.  You should be proud of yourself.

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