So i have been technically single for 2 and a half years now however my baby daddy and i are still REALLY good friends and still have sex. Just recently I have been talking to an old friend ( we have known each other since i was 2) when i was 16 we kinda had something (no intercourse but ya know) and i really think he was my First love. Now i am really wanting to be with him, like really... but hes in the army and i know that if i marry him we are going to have to be stationed all over and I'm OK with that really, the thing is people have been telling me that if i go that will be selfish on my part cause i'll be taking my daughter away from her dad.

 I have no idea what to do! Seriously i really want to be with this guy, he's everything i want and i really do love him but i don't want my daughter to be unhappy and i don't want to have to go to court cause Jon will try to get custody of my daughter! ugh... i don't know.

oh and since we have been talking again jon and i have not had sex.... its been 3 months or so and jon lives 6 hours from us so he only really gets to see my daughter once a month... maybe but he does help out financially....

 any one have any advice!?? Please!!!!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:12 PM

I did the same thing you are thinking of doing. I married my best friend, who had just finished basic training. That meant taking my daughter away from her father. Right now we are living in Germany. And her father is back in the states. It's not easy. As much as he has changed (and not for the better) it's still so hard to see my daughter upset when she wants to see him and can't. But I had to do what was going to make me happy. Because in the end, if I wasn't happy, she wouldn't be. Staying back home so her father could see her would not have been the best thing for us. It took a long time for me to stop feeling guilty. But over the past 8 years I've watched her grow so much. She understands why he isn't around much. She doesn't like it, but she understands. She loves my husband. She has always called him daddy. And most of the time she is ok with not seeing her father often. As long as she can talk to him on the phone or email him. She knows he loves her even if he can't be with her.


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Jul. 7, 2008 at 10:50 AM i think you should do what makes you happy. yes baby daddy might live far away, but i am a formen navy girl. i was in for almost 4 years. i met my fiancee there, and we will be married next year. :) he has kids from a former marriage. i am a big time family girl i have a very hard time being away from my family. so he has decided to take orders to my hometown. his cihldren live approx 800 miles away. he gets them for the summer, every other holiday type thing. im sure if your baby daddy isnt a jerk you two can figure something out. if not then if you really want to be with this army guy you will have to go to court. they usually favor the mom anyways as long as you have a home for them a job and are a decent mom. good luck

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