Musings by a mama in Maine

DH and I have talked about being foster parents someday since before Sebastian was even born, even since before I got pregnant with him. Well we've recently got to talking about it again, and we both feel ready to start! Part of me feels completely crazy to do this, but really I feel like Sebastian dishes so much out to me on a daily basis, what's one more kid??? Come on and join our party, LOL. Plus, Sebastian is always 10 times easier to handle when there is another child around. It's like having another person close to his size can diffuse some of his energy. So I can't help but feel this will be a success.

We will say right from the start that we're only willing to take infants and toddlers, because we don't feel like we're ready to have him exposed to the kind of elements an older child might bring to our home. But that works out perfectly, because around here most people want to foster older kids, not the very little ones. In my experience, in this county, when people are willing to take the little ones, they'll get a placement very quickly.

Please wish us luck as we begin this adventure, and if you have any words of wisdom or advice to share, I'd love to hear!!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:47 PM I am so excited for you! I am a foster parent, and I do have to tell you that it will not be easy no matter what age the child is. The stories you will hear will make you physically sick. Social Services will make you want to bang your head on the wall, but then there is this precious child. One who will look to you for love, adventure, and healing. Thier smiles alone are enough to make it worth it.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:55 AM Wow!  that is so cool!  Many, many years ago I used to work at Service Merchandise, and we had this one wonderful customer who always had foster kids, and she would tell me stories when she could, and I know the hardest part is giving the child up when it is time...she adopted several over the years because she just couldn't let them go.  I think it takes a special person to be a foster parent, and you must be one of those people if you have been talking about it for years!  Good luck, keep us posted, and God Bless You!

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:31 PM
I have to say thank you.  I was in state custody for five years... three in group homes, then two in foster care.  I know firsthand how many kids get shuffled around because there's nowhere to put them, and how healing it can be to finally land in a HOME.  Shelter staff rarely have much time for hugs, and hug deprivation can just about be an illness in itself!  Just make sure you're keeping an eye on yourself... as in, be realistic about how many kids you can handle.  I watched my foster mom get completely overwhelmed because she wanted so much to help all the kids DHS wanted to send her.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:52 PM

I want very much to do foster care, but DH is not on board yet. It's seldom the rosy picture I'm hearing in your post--with babies, you may have to deal with parental visitations, knowing that person hurt a baby and will get their baby back (remember that reunification is always first priority). Many times friends and family disapprove or drop out of your life because they can't handle the issues foster kids come loaded with, etc. But that's something I want very strongly to do. I was in the foster care system much more briefly than Auspicious, but it was horrible--a nightmare. I wanted nothing more than to go back to my abusive mother so I didn't have to live with those horrible people who utterly stifled me. So I want to provide a GOOD foster home (as you clearly are planning to do) to ofset how many horrible ones are out there. Far too many children and babies die and/or are abused in foster care.

Good luck in your fostering! I hope you get the best of situations.

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