In My Head with the Voices

The howler monkeys are here, too.

Over the weekend I set out to get the black dye out of my hair. I went to my local beauty supply store and bought the hair color remover and a bucket of hair bleach. I was determined to go blond. I had this visual picture of what I wanted.

Before I go on let me say that last year at this time I loved my hair. It was long, black and fairly healthy. I just didn't like the ends which had traces of a perm from a couple years back. In a hasty moment (like most of my moments are) I decided to get it cut. Short. At first I liked it, but a few weeks later I was kicking myself for that drastic change. I don't like short hair on me.

Anyway, back to the bleaching nightmare. I stripped the color out, leaving me with a strawberry-reddish-blondish color. Not light enough. So I did the first bleach application. Eric put it on my hair. He does all my coloring, but my only complaint is that he always gets WAY too close to the scalp. I was only able to stand the bleach for about 20 minutes before it felt like my head was on fire. I rinsed and about screamed when I saw the dandelion yellow my hair was.

Rinse, condition. Condition. Condition. Wait to do the next application till Sunday.

Sunday came and I couldn't wait to get this done. This time Eric foiled my hair with the bleach so he wouldn't touch my scalp. I was able to leave the bleach in for about 35 minutes. I rinsed and it turned out to be a lighter shade of dandelion. Damn! But now it's just fried! I've been using the industrial strength mayonnaise-based conditioner since yesterday, but my hair still looks like a matted, yellow mess.

Seriously. I had to go to the convenience store earlier and left the house in a sweatshirt, my yellow hair and not a drop of makeup. I looked like a crazy homeless woman.


I know it's just hair. It's not the end of the world. I know I'm probably going to have to see my hair stylist about a really short pixie do this week. Ugh. I've done the pixie thing. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's my own fault for FRYING the shit out of my hair! Lovely.

Add A Comment


Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:02 PM I sympathize with you.  My dh does my hair coloring too, and he burned the piss out of my head with the "pale blonde" color.  My hair started out dark brown, and after 2 applications of color, was ORANGE!  Like the fruit.  Never again!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:09 PM Oh my, I am so sorry.  I have never bleached my hair.  I did my own highlights from a box and they came out ok.  I just dont trust myself to color or bleach.

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:02 AM I swear this just happened to me a few months ago but a lady at a salon did it! oh the pain and SCABS on my scalp!!! I know better! I personally knew I was not meant to be a blonde. I have never been and wanted to try. My natural color is seriously to shades from black...she tried to for 6 hours to turn my hair and the closest it came was strawberry gross blonde and it was the nastiest thing I had ever seen. I cried. She didn't use bleach to begin with because she wasn't sure of my previous highlights used...anyway. I could not stand the color. Against my friends begging, and warning I went to Sally's got the toner and put it in. I also got the cholesterol to put in everyday to try to keep it from falling out. IT WORKED!!! Although I had some major breakage and some did fall out I got my color back!!!!!!!   I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!!!       GOOD LUCK!!!!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 7:48 AM oh christ god.  why don't we live closer!!??  i went all the way through beauty school and i would have beaten you over the head with a large book or chair when you suggested this.  poor momo.  aagh!  that is honestly so horrifying when you get that bad result when you whip the towel off. 

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 8:14 AM

Oh, Goddess!

I, too, feel your pain.  I have always colored my own hair and I'm basically fearless.  When I turned 30 I was already 50% gray so I decided it was the perfect time to go blonde (I'm a natural brunette).  It turned out beautiful for about a day.  Then it was baby chick yellow.  "So nice for Easter," as one of my friends put it.  And it was fried.  I ended up going to a salon and letting them fix it and I must admit, they did a good job.

I have some horrendous hair stories-- mine has been every color except blue.  Good luck and keep us posted. 

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:56 AM

*in a very quiet voice*  i like strawberry blonde. 


in 2007 i actually paid someone to do mine a sassy brassy blonde  and it turned out safety cone orange on the roots and mouse brown on the rest of my head.  WTH???  i have done my own color and been to salons both and never messed up that bad.  iended up going back and telling them to darken it again to cover the roots.  sad sad kater for a while.  and then the same peoples butchered my hair when i asked for them to trim 2 inches.  i ended up with only 2 inches left in my new pixiedo.  the first thing my 4yo said was, "why do you have boy-hair now mommy?"   i will never again, NOT watch what is going on in the mirror.  never never never.  hugs and luck.

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:58 AM Aw man!!  That sucks.  I have turned mine hideously orange before.  It is no fun.  Get some great hats!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:47 PM

I sympathize with you completely. I had black hair for a year or two and it took forever to get it back to blonde. For a while it was like this fire color of orange and yellow. I cut it short and dyed it every month or so until it finally can back to a decent color. Every once in a while I want to go black again and then I remember how long it took for my hair to be un-damaged again.

It will get better. I'm sure that at the salon they can help get it back to a color you like. Anyways, Take care and I hope you feel better about your hair soon:)

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 7:09 PM That sucks. 

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 6, 2008 at 4:40 PM I actually had to admit that going blonde just isn't an at-home option for me, for this very reason.  I've dyed my hair every color of the rainbow, but I just can't make blonde happen.

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in