...sinking void in my heart and in my life. dont get me wrong, i have a WONDERFUL son and a LOVING family, but its like something is missing! I jus lost my job, my boyfriend, and everyone has moved home for the summer.  I try and stay busy, I try and do more things w/ my son, but yet no matter what i do the minuted Im alone in my car or sitting at home watching tv, i start to feel that feeling like something is missing, like my life isnt complete!

i hate feeling like this, i dont wanna pretend to be happy any more, and i esp dont wanna pretend to be happy for "him" any more.  I know im only 21 (be 22 in ~2wks) n i got my whole life as some of you say, but in my eyes this isnt what i thought my life would be like at 21!! I feel like ive missed out on so much being a "young single mom" I have lost a lot of frends and prob have only 2 that i can call REAL friends...

i have lost interest in pretty much everything, esp sex. i feel like if its not w/ "him" then i dont want to be w/ anyone else. maybe im saling myself short, but deep down no matter wat anyone tells me i still have hope, and if in the end im the one looking like a dumbass then its my fault, i held on. i could care less about my schooling even though i will grad in dec.  my housework is going down the drain, i used to clean ALL the time, now i leave it hoping someone else will do it for me...

idk how to explain it any more, i jus had to get it out, cant go to counseling till the 10th, i jus feel like such a "loser" some times, like is this wat my life is going to be like from here on out, lonely and empty feeling....

anyways thanks for listening to me cry...atleast someone, somewhere cares about me!

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Comments:

onebe...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:46 AM OH Mary, hun, you need to get out of this funk!  I am sorry you are feeling this way.  When did you lose your job?  Sorry we havn't been able to catch up with each other this past week.  I hope you get good rest tonight.

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marle...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 8:27 AM Hey girlfriend. I told you, you can call me anytime you'd like. I don't care what time it is but when your feeling down like this pls don't hesistate to call me. It's okay to feel down sometimes I feel like that also sometimes. Call me I have alot to talk to you about too!

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Malay...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:44 AM Girl I felt like that for the longest. It just takes some tears and major prayers to get right again. Trust me, it will get better even if it seems like it never will!

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juls54
Jun. 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM Hi Mary. First I want to say you are not alone feeling this way. Sometimes when it rains it pours and one negative thing happens after another or so it seems. You have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy and for now you should concentrate on all the positives he brings you. If you be patient and open to new opportunities that may come your way things WILL turn around for you and get better. Fate happens in the most unusual ways so be ready. Fate is my husband and I found eachother. Good luck sweetie!

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shawn...
Jun. 5, 2008 at 8:55 PM When life knocks you down to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray......Oh Mary, I know what you're goin through. We just gotta be strong, lean on each other for support and pray....a lot. I promise one day all us single mama's will meet up on the beach for those margaritas one day. We'll laugh at the storm we've been through and will toast to the sun that's finally come out! :)

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