Dear Wife:

I'm writing  you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.  
These last two weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers.  You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
all of your soaps.  You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want
sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.  Either you're
cheating on  me or you don't love me anymore;
whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S.  Don't try to find me.  Your  SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together!  Have a great  life!


Dear  Ex-Husband  -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your  letter.  It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years,  although a good man is a far
cry from what you've been.  I watch my  soaps so much because they  drown
out your constant whining and griping.   Too bad that doesn't work.  I DID
notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to
mind was 'You look just like a  girl!'  Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment .  And when
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have  gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers:  I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all
of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica .   But when I got home you were gone.  

Everything happens for a reason, I  guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from  me.  

So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S.  I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born  Carl.  I hope that's not a problem

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Comments:

roolynn
Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:33 AM OMG I laughed so hard I almost spewed all over my computer!!!!  Thanks!

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Cryst...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:33 AM

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shysa...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:11 AM WOMAN ROCK!

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ainamama
Jun. 3, 2008 at 2:35 AM he he

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MamaM...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:03 AM Hahahahahaha.....I love it! Too funny!

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amy_l
Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:18 PM that was funny!!!!! i just about peed all over myself from laughing so hard.

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zoeja...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 7:15 AM wohoo!!! good stuff lol

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Jenni...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 7:55 AM FUNNY!!!!!  LMAO!!

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Prair...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 7:57 AM LOL!  Love it!

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Kylie...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 3:00 PM thats fricken hilarious ......hahahahah

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