Yesterday, I got in the mail Deers paper work for my oldest.  Nothing for my youngest.  There were a spot to put my youngest but NO, he was not on there.

As all of you Military wives know, DEERS Enrollment is paperwork for ID card and insurance enrollment.  Apparently, Jay sees it fit to include my oldest in this but not our youngest.  My youngest, is the little guy who he abused the most.  Jay makes it clear on the phone that he never wants to talk to Joey but only Paris. I am so freaking pissed right now.  So pissed off that I can't think straight. How can you give to one child and deny the other.  Is he that heartless?

Also, Jay put down that we are not allowed to take Paris to the Commissary or the Exchange.  I will be taking this to my lawyer and telling him we don't want this for one: we have insurance for Paris/Boys and it is either all or nothing.  I know what you are thinking, how selfish of me but what he has done to the boys is just crap.

Another thing that has me very upset is, yesterday when I received this paperwork I called my Lawyer, well, I talked to the Legal Secretary, she said since he is in the Military we will be on hold for a while.  BULLSHIT.  Just because he is in the Military doesn't mean anything.  Just because he is in Basic Training doesn't mean he can't be touched.  I am going to talk to my Lawyer today and ask him what we should do.  I have been told by so many Military personal that we can contact his commander and let them know what is going on.  For once his life can be on-hold. Not my children. 

Thank you for listening and letting me vent. 

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Comments:

swtma...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 7:27 AM

I am so sorry your having to deal with something like this.. I agree both your boys should be covered and do everythign the same... And yes.. you can talk to the commanding officer about this and something will be done.. The one thing I learned from being an army wife/then ex wife.. The military are very serious about thier personnel taking care of thier kids.. I have more than once talked to someone about something that needed to be done or changed and it was.. good luck to you

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MSuga...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 7:31 AM Good luck!

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rosem...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:17 AM

It seems like to me...and you can tell me to shut up. That you'd be better off having him sign off his rights to your kids. He causes you insane amount of stress and presonally I understand that money times are hard right now however you now have a husband who loves your children and provide for you why bother with this guys money. Have him sign off his rights and have your husband adopt them.

 I'm not sure what kind of abuse that there was but that alone should make you contest his contact with them all together. Cutting him out of their lives. Their still young enough where they will eventually stop asking about him. Waiting for his phone calls seeing you so stressed out whatever toll it takes on your current marriage and bills of lawyers and such. It might just be worth it.

 You seem like a very nice person someone who doesn't want the father to be cut out you want him to have a part of your childrens lives however when someone so desperately shows the lack of interest in being a father in ALL ways not just money wise but emotionally and such it might be better for all parties to just cut the ties. I know that is sorta letting this man get away with not having to pay for having children but if you want them to be happy you have to make yourself happy. This man isn't making any one happy and what it comes down to is the fact that is the money you get for them going to make you happier every day more than the constant fight with him over what he's doing/saying.

 For the record it doesn't hurt the child to know when they grow up that their father wasn't fit to be a parent. I'm 100% fine knowing that my father was abusive and munipulitive and my mom rathered him out of my life than to allow him in and possibly reck my mom's life any more than he did and have any ability to damnage mine. Let me tell you one thing...your kids have it going for them. There is a man who's willing to stand up and be the father figure. One thing I didn't have that will make them stronger. Take it into consideration.

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Tinke...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:31 AM

To Rosemagic01,  Oh yes, we are trying to have him sign over his rights but he doesn't want to.  So, we have taken the route of money because that is truely the only thing he cares about.  Thank you for your words of encourgement and kindness. 

That is why I have been so on edge and so nervous.  I want more than anything is for my new hubby to adopt my boys.  He loves them so much and they love him.  The boys never ask for my ex-husband in anyway.  My ex-husband plays a lot of games and is just drives me insane, as you can tell. LOL.

Thank you again.

Heather

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china...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 11:02 AM

oh my! i can't imagine this crap you are going thru! just reading your posts on here....WTF is wrong with him!????? seriously!   i hope you get him by his ba!!!!!!s~~~~~ your poor kids!

anyway i wish you the best of whatever the outcome is!

Dawn

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