How much is one person suppose to take before the well runs dry? I have loved this man more than I have loved anyone in my entire life. He refuses to see the value that I have in this family and refuses to believe that I actually have any worth. Is this really the man I want to be with for the rest of my life? Was he caught up in the idea of having a wedding? and not the idea of having a marriage? I love him, and that is the truth, my daughter loves him. Really, how many men would have the balls to step in and take care of a child that isn't theres...I mean she doesn't even resemble him at all.

But I can't marry him, I want to work!! He doesn't want me to work. So I do my part I stay home, I cook dinner, lunch, and breakfast. I take care of the house...but yet it goes unapperciated and unrecognized. So, I ask myself the question do I really want to marry him...duh!! of course I do. But at what point do I say no.

I'm so stressed..planning a wedding is a PAIN!! and with no help, no family around, and him not wanting me to find a wedding planner is crazy. He left this the morning and took a bag will he come back? Do I want him to come back? Will I be happier without him? How do I take these thoughts and organize them? I know this is the devil, playing with me..he knows I'm I just bitching( as Josh would say).....All I have ever wanted was to find a man that would except me and love me and my child unconditionally, I feel that I have found that but at what cost. Things that i expect and want should I but those on the backend to be with this man? I try so hard, so hard....I just don't know what else to do, I want to be with him. I just don't know if I am strong enough to be with him, or if he's strong enough to be with me.


Add A Comment


Jun. 3, 2008 at 10:35 AM Well, he needs to support you in your decision on working or not. I think it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you know what you want and NEED. He is not what you need. I would focus on you and your child and move forward without him. Do NOT marry him because he stepped in and played a father figure in your child's life. You will regret that some day...

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 10:37 AM

I highly suggest going to your nearest library and checking out "Love and Respect" then reading it ASAP.... I'm not sure who its by, but it is an awesome book that may shed some light on different aspects of relationships...

Also reading "the five languages of love " is a MUST to making a marriage or any relationship more fulfilling.

Good luck and everyone has those doubts...


Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:10 AM

Hey Sunshine,

 I am so sorry! It must be something in the water. I have had some family drama myself. The devil wants nothing more that to tear families apart. He sounds like a great guy the two of you just have some differences. Maybe you just need to step back a minute and let it work itself out. Maybe you guys should go to marital counsel before you get married to work out those things that sound minor. Try that and I believe the two of you will be okay! Hope you are well and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

 Be Encouraged Sis,


It's going to be okay!


Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:21 AM

Felix said some wonderful things! And you know what rae we as women all get to that point with asking when enough is enough. And if you truly love this man which sounds like you do. You two will work it out. Girl marriage is in no way, shape, or form easy!!! It is all about give and take. The two of you will have disagreements its all about leveling it out and meeting some common ground. Meet each other half way. With prayer and focusing on each other goals you two can make it work. This is just a minor step in the both of your lives that you can overcome. Ask your heart if you are ready to throw in the towel, Because at the end of the day you know whats best for you and your family. Which includes him!!!

Keep your head up girlie!!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:29 AM u need to u want me to meet up with u at cheesecake..i work in the south charlotte area..i can stay at work and meet up with cha..just let me know!

Message Friend Invite

Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:21 PM I dont really know you, but a long term relationship marriage or not def. isnt easy.. My husband (which is my second and last!) husband and I have alot of differences but we have leaned to give and take and sometimes agree to disagree. He gets on my nerves occasionally and I his. but this is life. He is so wonderfull in so many ways that that out weighs his "shitty" qualities.  I wouldn't suggest rushing ino marraige but your girl has the right idea of seeking some sort of mediator or counsoler before marraige. It will be ok just breath , pray,  and write your feelings and ideas down.,  Then talk about it with him. That always seems to come through and work for me. Good Luck!

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in