If you read my journal from yesterday, you know the situation with Tom and I.

Last night for dinner, I made a pot of chili at my sister's request(she's staying with us for the week, my mom is out of town) and I figured Tom would eat it, so I made it. He came home, ate the chili, and to my surprise, he then started the dishes and picked up the kitchen. Yesterday was a really bad day for me, I cried and I was just worn out. So I took Hannah, and we laid on the couch and took a nap until like 7. By this time, Tom and I still hadn't had our talk. Being as tired as I was, I wasn't up for talking, so I went to bed.

This next part has nothing to do with me and Tom, but this just added to my emotions for the night.  I may or may not have posted about this at some point in time. My parents are recently divorced and me and my brother and sister have basically lost all contact with my dad. My dad's birthday is on Thursday, and his girlfriend called me last night and we talked for about 1/2 hr. She invited me and the kids over for dinner on Friday night to celebrate his birthday since he's out of town for work until late Thursday night. We agreed. Anna(his girlfriend) then went on to tell me how my dad has just been a mess and he's so sad that he can't see us. I thought he was mad at us and was avoiding us, it turns out this wasn't the case. He was afraid to call me...he thinks we're all on my mom's "side", which isn't the case either. I just started bawling. She said they went to the zoo on Saturday and my dad was sad the whole time they were there. He kept telling Anna "I wish we could have called Steph and the kids. I miss them so much and I wish I could spend the day with them here." They went camping over Memorial Day weekend, and they came back with a ton of left over brats and hamburgers...basically BBQ food. He said he wished we could've packed up and taken the kids to a park and had a picnic and just spend the day together as a family, but he didn't want to call because he was afraid to talk to me. So after getting off the phone with her last night, I texted my dad and told him I loved him. He texted me back and said Love you too, I miss you guys alot.  My heart has been aching because I haven't had my dad and I miss him so much. I thought he was avoiding me, and didn't want to talk to me. And now that I know whats going on, we both want a fresh start, a chance to bond and make things okay, the way they're supposed to be.

So after the phone call with Anna, Tom came to bed and we talked. I talked alot, he listened, and didn't have much to say at all. I made all the points that I needed to. I know we're not done talking, but I feel like I got through to him, and thats a good feeling. I have hope that everything will be okay, and that our marriage will be healthy again. I feel like he's going to make more time for his family, and more quality time for us, the kind we used to have, the kind that we still need. Today is a new day, and I feel better about it. I dont feel like I want to cry and be angry with him, and today I dont even care that the boys are running through the house like a couple of tornadoes. Its okay, and this is the way its supposed to be. Everything will be okay, with time and patience and compromise.

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Comments:

hybri...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:15 PM That's great.  I really hope things work out for you guys.  Hubby and I went through a rough patch after Leah was born but talking it out really helped and now things are much better.

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kfost...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 2:21 PM OH I am so happy that things are looking up!  I was thinking about you earlier and got on here to hunt down any updates that might have occurred.  I hope that things continue to improve and that you all keep working things out.  Keep us posted and I'll be thinking about you and your dad...I hope you all have a wonderful bonding time and can mend those bridges as well! 

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