I have not always been anti-vaccine, actually I was far from it.  Here's a little story that I am quite ashamed of now.April 2006- I am about 7-8months pregnant. JR and I attend a meeting for mommy and daddy to be's to have a meet and great with the three Pediatricians that we have to choose from. Basically they introduced themselves and told us some personal info about them and then we had the chance to ask any questions we might have. So about 5 women there had some questions about vaccines. A few wanted to know if any of the three ped's were ok with doing vaccines on the parents schedule not the recommended, a couple were interested in selective vaccinating and one woman asked if any of the ped's were ok with not vaccinating at all b/c she didn't want to vax here child. My jaw instantly dropped and I was in complete shock that she wouldn't want to vax her child, I looked at JR and said, "isn't that considered abuse, to put your child at risk of catching one of these diseases."  The two of us both said to ourselves, "that's a crazy hippy for ya, they just have no clue what they are putting their child through, poor kid."

You see I was raised by parents who vaccinated. I received all my shots as did my two little sisters. Everyone in my family was vaccinated: moms, dads, kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and so on, so whats the big deal. This is what I knew to be the way we live......everyone gets vaccinated from these horrible disease.  I never questioned it.

This is what you are supposed to do.......RIGHT???   So my children will be vaccinated just like the rest of us. 

My son is born June 18, 2006: Born naturally, no drugs used during birth, and healthy weighing in at 8lbs 5oz. He had absolutely no complications at birth. He receives his Vitamin K shot that they give to newborns but does not receive the Hep B at birth b/c the hospital he is born at does not do it there. I was actually kind of angry b/c I thought I was putting my child at risk for leaving the hospital without it and waiting 2 whole months before he would get it. 

August 21, 2006-Brenden age 2 months:He has his 2 month vaccines consisting of DTP, Hib, IPV, Hep B, and Prevnar.  He only gets 3 individual shots for 7 vaccines. DTP, IPV, & Heb B are a combo called PEDIARIX, so one poke, and then one for Hib and one for Prevnar. We go home and he does fine, so I believe. He did sleep a bit more and a bit longer each nap and was fussier than normal (He never cried much to begin with) but no fever and nothing too weird.

Late August to Mid September: Brenden age 2.5-3 months:Brenden starts having his spasms(seizures) somewhere in this time frame, we had no clue they were seizures. I can't remember exactly what day they started b/c I didn't know it was something I should have been worried about. A spasm consisted of him dropping his head slightly and that was it, he was still conscious, still playing nothing too weird. He was only 10-12 weeks old, so we though it had something to do with his neck muscles or coordination and it would get better as he got a little older and stronger. But over the next few weeks the spasms started to get stronger, more noticeable, more repetitive, and were happening mostly upon waking.....right away I knew something wasn't right so I video taped it.

October 17, 2006: I make emergency appointment with pediatrician even though his 4 month check up is the very next day.  I take my video camera with a couple of clips of Brenden having his spasms. She right away knows what's happening and this is when I hear the word INFANTILE SPASMS for the first time. She recommends we see a neurologist ASAP.

October 18, 2006: Brenden age 4 months: We take our baby to a neuro to have a 30 minute EEG done to see if he has abnormal brain waves.  After the EEG we are waiting in that tiny office just waiting for some good news, and the neuro comes in and I instantly feel bad news coming, I could just see it in his face. He said his EEG is abnormal and it does seem to show signs of Infantile spasms. I tried to be as calm as possible, sitting there holding my precious tiny baby, hearing them tell me there is possibly something very wrong with him.  Brenden must have felt my sadness, me tensing up, not relaxed and comforting anymore b/c he just started to cry and cry and I couldn't get him to stop. He had never done that before, and after a few minutes of me trying to get him to stop crying so I could listen and talk to the Doctor about what to do next, I lost it myself, I just started balling uncontrolably so I handed Brenden to JR and Brenden actually started to calm down. No matter how calm and controlled I was trying to be on the outside Brenden could feel me having a meltdown inside. 

Oct. 18-20,2006 In the Hospital: So the neuro admitted us to the Hospital over night for a 24hr EEG to make sure his results were 100% correct. Brenden also had Blood work, genetic testing, Lumbar Puncture, and his first MRI.  EEG did show him having Infantile spasms, but every other test came back 100% normal. We couldn't find anything wrong with him to cause him so have seizures. B/c we couldn't find any underlying reason for the seizures Brenden's case is considered Idiopathicand the Dr.s seemed pretty confident that if we put Brenden on ACTH his seizures will stop and he will be fine in a couple of months. So we go home Oct. 20 administering ACTH shots to our baby twice daily. Brenden can't be in public or even get his 4 month vaccines while on ACTH b/c it weakens your immune system so we must hold off on vaccines. I was so paranoid he was going to catch a disease from missing his vaccines, then I'd have a child with seizures and a horrible life threatening disease. GREAT!!!

Early Dec. 2006:Brenden is still having his spasms and he also has horrible side effects from the ACTH so we decide to wean him off and slowly add zonegran.  During this process of weaning off ACTH and weaning on to zonegran Brenden's spasms actually go away and he is seizure free from Dec. 11-Dec18, 2006,  a whole week....we were so excited.   So I call the neuro to see if Brenden can get his 4 months vaccines that I thought he needed sooooo badly.  Neuro says yes, I call ped to make appointment. Nurses comment when I call, "Oh yes, we can definitely get you in ASAP, we don't want unprotected babies out and about" I have appointment the very next day, Dec 19, 2006.

Dec. 19, 2006: Brenden age 6 months: We have appointment to get Brendens 4 month shots.  Ped. tells me she will give him the 4 month shots now and wait a couple of months to do the 6 month ones, his schedule will be off slightly but no big deal, he will still get all the vaccines he needs. I agree to this,  but I had some question's about the DTP and wasn't sure if I wanted Brenden to get this vaccine along with the others. I had done some research on the DTP vaccines b/c I had heard it could cause seizures. Keep in mind, I hadn't linked it to my son's seizures b/c I thought since he didn't have his seizures right away after the 2 month vaccines the two weren't linked.  But this was the first time I had researched a Vaccine and I found out that there were some possibly serious side effects. I didn't want to inject my son who has already had seizures with something that could possibly make him worse. Right away the Ped. agreed and actually cut me off from talking and told me they don't give the DTP to anyone with a neurological condition b/c of the possible side effects and that my son was still considered to have a neurological condition, even though the seizures had been gone for a week. B/c we were not 100% sure he was ok she didn't want to give the DTP to him.  So ok, I was shocked she agreed to not give it to him, I thought I was gonna have to fight her on it.  That day he received Hib, IPV, Hep B, and Prevnar. This time 4 shots for 4 vaccines.  We go home, he is more sleepy than normal a bit fussy and with in 24 hrs of the vaccine shots Brendens seizures return with vengeance. They are stronger and more frequent than before:(I knew then, IT WAS THE VACCINES!!! I wanted to scream!!!  Not only did these recent vaccines cause the seizures to come back but what if they are the reason he starting having seizures in the first place. I called his ped and his neuro and they both basically told me I was crazy and that there is no way the vaccines caused my son to have seizures. They said it must just be a coincidence that the seizures came back.  My response: COINCIDENCE MY ASS!!!!!  This is were I started to lose my closed mind. Thank god!!! Now more open minded I started to do some research and low and behold I couldn't believe what I was reading, the ingredients, the side effects, death. I couldn't believe I didn't know anything about these vaccines I was agreeing to inject into my baby!!! I thought these were supposed to be good for us, not kill us or damage our brains.

From 4 months old until now two years old, wow that's 20 months, all of my son's tests have come back normal showing that his brain was indeed ok. So you tell me why a baby born healthy and with no underlying conditions could possibly start having seizures out of the blue.  Doesn't make much sense to me.

My definiton of Idiopathic: The Doctor's can't find a reason and claim to have no clue why your child is seizing, so they came up with a fancy word so they wouldn't have to tell parents they didn't know why(or that it might be from vaccine's that are toxic). It's easier to just label them Idiopathic, RIGHT??? A doctor wouldn't want to question vaccines.

Just recently my son had a Flumazenil PET scan of his brain and it shows that his right hippocampus is abnormal. Question now is: Has it always been abnormal or is it now abnormal from having seizures on a daily basis for the last 22 months??? That's a tough question that we will probably never know the answer to. But it hasn't been found on any of his other test's in the past 22 months.

Just a thought:  Say his hippocampus has been abnormal since birth. Now back to what our Ped said Dec 19 about the DTP, they don't give it to a baby with a possible neurological condition.  So how do you know 100% that an Infant doesn't have a neurological condition at 2, 4, 6 months old when they are coming in for their first few rounds of DTP? They shouldn't just give it to everyone, babies should be screened to make sure it is ok for them to receive the vaccine.

And even if his hippocampus has been abnormal from birth......it wasn't causing any problems. It wasn't until after the vaccines that he started having seizures.


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Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:42 AM OMG. Everyday I am reading and learning about more reasons to stop getting my son immunised. This is just heart breaking. I will never understand why our government thinks damaging our kids for something that probably will never happen out weighs keeping them safe at all costs. By the way, my son's name is Brendan too. Only spelled different. Thanks for posting this, and I'm so sorry about your child. Hope all is getting better.

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Jun. 7, 2008 at 10:00 PM I'm so sorry.  It's stories like yours that make my conviction to not vaccinate even stronger.  Thank you for sharing your story and I hope your son continues to heal.

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