OK I know that some of you have been wondering what is wrong with me and why I’m acting a bit off... Ok a lot off... LOL So the other night I forgot to take my meds Then the next night was the same add two more days to that and I’ve been off my “sane” pills for 4 days.... I am still not sure if I should start taking them. Part of me knows they help my temper lessen and not freak out so badly but.... I also feel like taking them is allowing myself to live in a fantasy world. That things are ok and that all is going to be ok. This time I don’t think it is going to be ok. Our Homeowners insurance did an inspection on the house and took pictures of the worst part oaf the house, and in their words, here is why they don’t want to insure us.

Hazard Description

1:MAJOR foundation crumbling crackling and open.

2:MAJOR siding/frame exterior dry rot rear, paint peeling on all sides

3:MAJOR under construction

4:MINOR porch other paint peeling

5:MINOR yard/porch debris, tires, Auto parts trash.

 1: The pictures they took were of the PORCH not the actual foundation.

2: One picture they took and I can’t figure out where its at.

3: We are trying to get our roofer who signed a paper that guaranteed no leaks for 3 years (and has been leaking) to finish the roof. It isn’t under MAJOR construction...

4: Peeling paint has to do with an appraisal not insurance... DUMB

 5: We picked all that up weeks ago...

 For all of this to be fixed by the 16th of this month and having almost NO MONEY to spend I just don’t see how we can get it all done. If we lose our home owners insurance then the mortgage company can take our house!!!! YIPEE Then, we get a call from Dad-in-law. Gpa has prostate cancer... How is hubby? No clue. He said nothing just ok. I don’t like feeling lost and broken and defeated... but that is how I feel... Will taking the meds again help that feeling? Is that even safe for me? To be feeling not so worried, or to be freaking out? I need a middle ground! Oh well. That’s what is going on. Oh and the only one who can bail us out is the sperm donor, that knows nothing cause its too hard to keep in touch. Oh well.


 **Broken and lost**

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:11 PM Oh sweetie!! Thats alot to take on all at once. I am sure Brian is hurting inside. Ryan is like that when something happens he just keeps it inside...damn men :) Im sorry about your house that really sucks. I would think you should keep taking your meds because then you can atleast feel calm about the things that are going on in your life. Calm usually means clearer thinking. Let me know if you need anything even if its just a shoulder :)

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:49 PM Oh lordy Shaye!!! I'm sorry all this is happening to you. I hope it all works out soon.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 2:34 PM Who is the "sperm donor" that you referred to?  That sucks about your home owner's insurance.  But if I remember right, you've had problems with them for a while now.  Can't you find a different company and maybe they would be a bit more lenient about things.  PM me and I'll listen... 

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 5:39 PM

I'm so sorry....what a lot of stuff to have dumped on you all at the same time.  I think you need to be taking your anxiety meds--it is a chemical disorder, and you need to keep taking them just like I need to keep taking my thyroid pills.  It will help you to think more clearly and figure out how to get through this rough period.

I'll be thinking about you and hoping that things will turn around for you soon.

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Jun. 5, 2008 at 1:07 AM Hun I am so sorry that you are having to go through these things right now. I will be praying for you guys and for it to all work out for you. Maybe you should look into going with a different insurance company. Also you might contact you loan company and they may be able to find you a different company to go with. GL my dear and God Bless Janet

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