Ok so this is my second journal post today..... Alot going on in my head

I added pictures yesterday of my trip to PA Erie to visit my (ex) step daughter Samantha graduate for college.  Very proud of her and very please she is willing to still consider me as family.  Her dad wasn't very close with them while growing up.  I tried to keep in touch with out going over his head but it was difficult but now that I could care less what he has to say she and I have really connected.  Along with the fact that she is an adult herself and her mom cant say much.  My ex, our daughter and myself flew out to see Samantha, her brother Eric and I got to finally meet my grandbaby Azi.  What a wonderful time we had of course its been many years since we have seen them along with me be divorced from there Dad it had some moments with other family members of there moms and there mom but all in all it was great and it was for the kids. 

I realized when I was there how much they and i really do get along and how much they did and do like and respect me.  It gave me a whole new perspective coming home to my additional family members.  I was there for Dana's children but i dont believe until now that I am giving them all of me.  They might not like it but its who I am.  I'm hard to please I have high expectations and I trust completely until shown other wise then its very hard to get that trust back.  These kids have been through so much yet they still need discipline, guidance and above all love.  Love not just said but felt and shown daily.  I look forward to the many challenges were all going to face.  I feel confident after spending time with Samantha that I'm a good person and parent who can be an influence in a child's life.  I thank the Lord for all the many gifts he has bestowed upon me and I must openly use them daily.




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