So I hadn't been on in quite some time and I noticed alot of you have a whole lot goin on too... new babies, loved ones passin on, alot.... sorry for not bein there and givin my support.

I had two friends pass in the pass two weeks

Paul died of a motorcycle crash, he wasn't wearin a helmet...

Jose died in a car crash goin through a tunnel at like 100mph...

Both could've of been prevented I think.

It's like all my friends tell me, God has another plan for them.

To me I really want to believe that but I can't find the answers... What plan does he have? Why them? Why not me? I don't wanted to be all negative but it's pretty tough.

I just came back from my first weekend away from my boys, I was in vegas for my bday, and don't get me wrong, I missed the heck out of them, but it really felt nice to get away.

Am I a bad mom? I was sad when I realized this could very well be my only weekend away until next June, my bday.

I wish Owen was around... why the heck was he taken so quick? Heck even if we did finalize our divorce, we'd get every other weekend off from the boys...

Then I look at all the mommies that have lost kids and feel like crap for complainin about mine...

UGH!!!!! Well Mommies God bless you all and take care

Lorena Z

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:30 PM

I am sorry about your friends. And, about Owen, too. Losing people we love is always hard. Sometimes I don't think there are any answers and that in itself is difficult to deal with, you know? I mean if we knew why, how, where....maybe it would be "easier?" What I do know is that time helps...some people say it gets better -- that I can't say...but, it does make the pain of losing others less "raw." I'll be saying a prayer for you in hopes that you can find a way to deal with the loss of such important people in your life.

I am glad you were able to get away. There's nothing wrong with taking time alone or to regroup. I hope you had a good Birthday and NO -- you are NOT a bad Mom for taking some time for YOU. Whatever we may be -- Mom, Wife, Friend,'s never a bad thing to nurture the soul. :-) know there are many other people with problems, losses, complaints, illness....that doesn't lessen the pain you may be feeling for what is happening in your life. Please try not to feel bad because you have a moment in time when you get "lost" in your issues....that's just life. Hoping your week will be a good one.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:11 PM

Sorry about your friends...and no NOT a bad mom! Everyone needs sometime to have fun and enjoy life. Like it was said to me once..."We weren't the ones who died..." . When I first heard that it sounded so cruel, but true. It's hard and we will have ours days being send back to that day and it's normal to feel all of this. I have to keep reminding myself that and live life....

Confusing? Yes, and having all this emotions at the same time really doesn't help. But like the lady before me said, "'s never a bad time to nurture our soul..." Great advice there.

I always hated hearing "Time will heal all wounds..." or something like that, but now that 'time' has passed by some...I have to admit, they were right! It doesn't heal completely, but it eases it a little. I still have my days, but my boys are the ones who wake me up from that so called fog.  God Bless them, but hear you about feeling like crap when other moms loss their children...

I can't explain why things happen, but sometimes I do feel some deaths weren't meant to happen. Or heck maybe they were meant to go but why in that manner?! I have some questions for the Ol' Mighty and ways on how death should just be in old age ONLY! And the amount of children coming back to earth but this me with my weird thoughts about preventing heartache about deaths....I will quit now because I tend to ramble too much. LOL

Anyway, Vegas, huh?! Hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend. Jealous here. ; )

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