I'm feeling pretty dumb, this mediation day snuck up on me and I didn't do any research.

STBX  and I have a 14 year old (and one other that is 18), so this mainly concerns the 14 year old.

I'm not trying to keep dad from her at all, but I want the most cs I can get because it's going to be very hard for me to afford to keep some kind of 3-bedroom place (whether it be a home or apartment) so that both girls can live with me (and no, they won't share a room, no way!!).

I also don't want to see the 14 year old do a 50/50 custody and go back and forth like that between his place and mine.  I don't think she'll do well with that, I think that is an awful idea for her.

I'm thinking the best is the classic "every other weekend" thing and he can see her during the week too, (like attending her softball games or what ever), (yet I don't want cs to go down because he sees her during the week).   

Hope I'm making sense.  I don't think it's financially a good idea for both he and I to keep 3 bedroom places to have both girls some of the time.  We're not rich.  

Any words of wisdom, advice or what have you???

Thanks in advance. 


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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:28 PM well the judge will ask the 14 yr old what she wants and will rely heavily on her input.  The support won't go down if he see's her during the week...but you can't influence weather he keeps a 3 bedroom home also.That's outta your control.  You won't get support for the 18 yr old if she is out of school.   They are both old enough to tell you and ex what they want...so chat with her and find out so that there won't be any surprises.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:34 PM Follow your heart...talk to your daughter...and keep in mind (as you know already) that teenagers get to the point where they would rather stay on the phone then deal with moving anywhere out of their world...if it wasn't for dinner would we even see them some days?  In all honestly... i wish you so much luck and DON'T settle for anything you are not comfortable with.  I was/am a paralegal for a custody attorney..very emotionally hard job...i am out of work due to injuries currently.  Do not settle...compromise but not settle.  the welfare of your daughter really depends on Both parents!  sounds like things aren't too bad between you and her father pertaining to your girls..keep it that way.  i give you credit for being so strong as "Most" people going through divorces use custody as a weapon then comes support issues.  the housing issue will ALWAYS work itself out...I PROMISE.  I wish you so much luck.  let me know the results.  chin up.  God bless sweetie.

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