my whole relationship with my husband has been hell. I have noticed it the whole time but didn't want to believe it. I can't take it any more. I really can't. He is so selfish that if i want to do anything i am causing a fight. I have always thought if i leave him no body else will want me. I am hideous and  i know it but you know what thats ok. i have the most beautiful son in the world and i have me. i am starting to see who i am again. not just his wife not just my sons mom but me. i have missed me. i am going to go back to school, hopefully. i to become something with my life. then i am going to move on and be happy. raise my son and be happy again. marriage is hard and i know that but when a wife gets good news a husband shouldn't make her feel like shit on purpose to ruin her day. also when he does something wrong he needs to take responsibility.

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:04 PM

You are definitely NOT hideous! Although, if "someone" has been telling you that they may have you believing it? DON'T! You are right in saying that you have a beautiful baby boy and that you can do whatever you want with your life! It is important to be happy...alone or in marriage. I am sorry you aren't right now -- but, you CAN change that!

Have you and your DH ever done counseling? Maybe HE just needs to grow up some? I know that you don't have to put up with someone telling you daily that you have issues...and you shouldn't. But, there must have been a reason (love?) you are together...what happened to that?  No matter what you decide....I hope you will think of YOU and do whatever you need to feel good about yourself and your life. Going back to school is a great idea....with or without your DH that can only benefit you and your son later in life. 

There are a couple of groups you might want to check out....they are: Finding Yourself and The Daily Gratitude Journal....both are filled with sweet Mom's and lots of advice on being/becoming happy!

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:11 PM Sounds alot like abuse.  He doesn't have to hit for it to be abuse and the emotional kind hurts more.  Get out early so that your kids are not his next target.  C

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Jun. 6, 2008 at 9:42 AM

i have looked into couseling but it would be pointless just because he won't go with me. at one point i think i was in love but any more it just feels like we are drifting apart and have been for a really long time. i dont think there is saving left, well anything to save. i have also looked into emotional aduse, and i know its there but what can i do. i have no where to go no money. both of parents are trying to get back on there feet, and none of my friends have spare rooms. all my relatives have other people living with them.

 on a better note, i find out next wednesday if i got fiancial aid to go to school. and if i did i start the 30th of this month. i am so excited yet so scared. i was some what of a loner in school and now part of course grade would depend upon my participation and interaction with other students. but again i am so excited. i am going for my bachelors in science for medical administration. which means i can manage a doctors office or dentist office.

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