Okay so I wrote a post last night here it is...

okay so my ex and I had mediation on the 29 th well we couldnt agree on anything.. I voted we do an assesment ( not a big deal so I thought).  For the assesment we have to have 3 ppl fill out a questionier. well my mom and my ex eamed up when he took the kids from me in feb. well slowly things have been getting better with my mom... we had a big talk in feb when she took me to the er.. well I thought that she had maybe changed her mind and would help me get my kids back.  well since the 29th I have put off calling her and asking her to fill this thing out for me.. well Jers friend danny was over and hes been a constant for the last 2 years and i asked if he could fill one out for me and he said no.. so feeling like i could handle the rejection I called and asked my mom and she said no too...she feels that I shouldnt have my kids unless I leave Jer... her words were that I dont diserve them... so I have these 3 things I have to have filled out and Im worried that the only way I will ever get my kids is to leave the man I love and have nothing AGAIN...  I cant think of one friend that I could ask all my "friends" are never to be found..my family isnt suportive and Im afraid to ask Jers family cause they only know 1/2 the story of wahts going on..Jer is willing to do what ever it takes to help I just dont know waht to do or where to turn..I have all the medical and "paper" support I need to get my kids back. but I want to know that I have some type of support from family and friends... I guess  I need to know that Im loved but everywhere I turn I seem to get rejected... Now Im fighting as hard as I can but I feel like Im fighting for nothing..the harder I fight the harder I lose( does that make sense??) 

 Well  I got a a few responses... I was in shock that my mom of all ppl doesnt believe I diserve my kids.. what her and my ex are claiming is abuse.. For the record Jer has never abused me or the kids.. My exs mother told my mom the 1st time they called CPS that it was cause Jer was mormon. the 2nd time ( both cases now closed as unfounded and harrassment..)because of abuse... Well then me and my broithers and sister should have been taken from my mothers home cause my "father" abused the shit out of me physically and mentally.  Yes I spank.... It works for me.. No its never been over the top... I knpw when to just walk away... as for my family liking Jer well no one will give a reason but I grew up thinking that all mormons were evil and wrong... well it may be the fact that I have decided to read the book of mormon and try to get my life in order and my family doesnt like the fact that I am becoming something that they hate for some dumb ass reason because they believe diffrently... 

ANYWAY... I wrote that post last night I was in tears... As a mother I could never see me taking sides against my kids... sure the right thing maybe to leave Jer but I cant.. I wont.. we did nothing wrong but my kids are allowed to be near a woman who touched my daughter...( called CPS and nothing was done.. it was noted n my case... thats it) I not worried that I wont get my kids.. Im just sad that my family chooses to still n ot see  things from my point of view...  to all of those who read my other posts about me  and Jer and  some of the problems weve been having YEs we are a couple and we have our problems neither of us are perfect and never claimed to be   

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 6:34 PM

Ugh….I was hoping it was getting better. I can't believe that a mother would turn against their own child. Hugs!

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Jun. 5, 2008 at 5:07 PM I am so so sorry :o(  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

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