It seems like all my journals are me complaining about something. That's not really who I am. I just feel like I am being tested, and I am failing. One thing after another has happened over the past year and I am trying my best to tread water. I am seeing a counselor and it does help. But it seems like the lows are getting lower.

I mentioned in another post that my maternal grandma has Alzheimers. I helped my mom get her settled at a nursing home up here over the weekend. Long story short the care she was getting in Georgia was subpar to put it lightly. Mom and I went to see her Sunday and she wasn't having a good day. She couldn't remember anything. The trip up here really rocked her world . She didn't know who my mom was.  I realized when we left, she has no idea who I am. It makes me so sad to know my Grandma doesn't know who I am.

I joined a gym and will start excersising on a regular basis in hopes it will make me feel better. Anyway, had to get that out. I use my journals for me to express my feelings even the painful ones.

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Jun. 4, 2008 at 10:34 AM

To me, journals are for venting.  When I write here it's to avoid loosing it with my DH or here at work.  So please don't feel badly about that!  I think most of us understand that we are only seeing a slice of everyone's life.

Sorry about your grandma.  My sister's MIL has Alzheimer's.  It's rough.  Her FIL is getting forgetful, too and a few weeks ago they forgot to come to my niece's graduation from college.  And my BIL called them the day before and that morning.  I felt so badly for my niece!  They were at her graduation party and it was sad to see how bad Millie is now.  (My sister has been married to my BIL for 28 years so I have known his mom a long time).

If you need anything let me know!  I will do whatever I can for you!

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