Today has been one of those emotionally exhausting days. I am not one to show emotions, but I have cried all day just about! What a weeny!!!!! Casey is really miserable. As most of you know, he has MS. And, its progressing. Not that I didnt expect that... He doesnt take his meds... its bound to happen. Well, at his new job, they may be placing him on rotating shift. If you know much about MS, they are already physically and mentally drained. They have no energy. They could sleep all day if you let them. Now add a job pulling green chain (pulling wood of a chain at a lumber mill) now add rotating shift.... what do you think that will do????

Anyways, Casey said that he will quit if they put him on that shift. He will not tell his boss that he cant do it. He looks healhy, acts healthy, when he is at work. Home is a different situation. Maybe its because I know him so well and know how he was before his symptoms started progressing.... whatever.... nonetheless, he wants to quit and he wont speak for himself.

What will he do in the meantime???? His answer "I will find something" .... WHAT???!!!! Nothing around here!!! He wants to go commercial fishing up in alaska with his dad.... Excuse me??? Leave me here with Teary who is really pushing buttons lately, and leave me here alone to give birth to our son that is soon on his way??? And clean the house, and find a way to pay the bills and worry about if he is going to have a MS attatck in the rough alaskan sea because he doesnt take his medication???? Wht in the world is he thinking????? All he has to do is work. Even when we moved, I felt bad so I did all the packing by myself, and unpacking!!!! our entire church just about... helped us with the move... What did he have to do??? Just the moving part. He was supposed to pack the spare room (his collect all room) and the outside shed.... Did he??? Nope. Everytime we go to town we have to stop at the house and pick up something. He has only done the dishes twice since we lived here.... No laundry, in fact, I am still picking up his socks in the living room. No cooking... No shopping, No babysitting our daughter.... Notta.... In fact, I asked if he could watch her one saturday and he went to a friends house and she watched our daughter. All I was doing was cleaning. Our daughter doesnt need to be buggin another mommy (who I am sure could use the time to clean her own house) just because he wanted to hang out with a buddy..... Now he wants to quit the one thing he does for our family.... How am I supposed to bring in the money???? I am 7 MONTHS PREGNANT!!!! I cant get a job now.... Not to mention the fact that he just may get full disabliity through the VA in no longer than a year..... Cant he wait that year and then fish???? Pooopppppyyyy!!!!! And, lets just bring our newborn son into that mess... What in the world??? I know that he is hurting. I know that MS has made it really hard on him. But before we got pregnant I offered to go back to work. YOu think he would let me.... HECK NO!!! He wants to work. He wants to be the bread winner.... Not now. Bad choice. Whew.... I feel better... Thanks for letting me go crazy on the keyboard =) 

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2awnr...
Jun. 4, 2008 at 6:51 AM I know how you feel!  you sound like you live in my shoes!  our house is the same way...everything except the 7 months prego part....but I was...you need to tell him to keep working until he gets that va help!....then if need be he can stay home with the kids and you could work....my hubby is so unstable right now...I have talked about getting a second job but of course he says NO!  but he isn't helping matters at all.....I didn't know yours wasn't taking meds too...I thought he was?  Mine hasn't taken meds in about 3 years...

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