This might help YOUR child...A work in "progress"

[Genigen]

Parenting Tip

June 5, 2008

A Work in Progress

How you view your children and what you think about discipline can help you stay calm and use healthy routines when things get tough. Imagine a car dealership where a man named Martin works in the showroom. Martin sells cars to prospective customers. If he sees a car without a door, he’s surprised and upset. He doesn’t expect to see defects. Cars in the showroom are supposed to be finished.

Bill, on the other hand, works in the factory and inspects cars for flaws and missing parts. It’s his job to find problems and fix them. In fact, Bill is prepared with a number of routines depending on the nature of the problem. If a door is missing, Bill doesn’t get upset; he just goes through his routine of obtaining a door and putting it on.

Bill knows that when a car is on the production line it requires continual work. Doors are added, pieces are put together, and workers are continually looking for ways to improve the product.

Viewing your children as works in progress instead of as finished products can help you respond to them without harshness or frustration. Like Bill, you can view problems as opportunities. Misbehavior and relational struggles are indicators of where your child needs help to grow and mature.

Parents are often frustrated by the continual need for correction and the endless number of mistakes that children make. If you can remember that your children are on the production line instead of in the showroom, your expectations will lead you to solutions instead of to anger.

Paul knew that his readers were a work in progress when he said in Philippians 1:6 "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." God is also at work in your children and sometimes it takes time to see progress.

This tip comes from the book, "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids,” by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

EFFECTIVE PARENTING TIPS are from  http://www.biblicalparenting.org/

if your are interested in getting more help!

[Jinxiewolf]

Jun. 5, 2008 at 9:21 AM

That's something I actually have to point out to DH quite often when dealing with our nearly 2 year old son. Being only (not quite) 2, DS has a tendency to have tantrums. He's too little yet to know how to deal with his exceptionally strong emotions, and simply responds to them instinctively. Sometimes the outbursts are less than attractive. I know as a parent of a new baby after raising a daughter to adolescence that it's our jobs to show them how to deal with their emotions. it's also a mother's role to show her children that regardless how a child acts that she will still love him or her. So if DS has a fit, I try to offer him hugs and comfort, where DH's first response it to yell. Often I remind him that when he's grumpy, his own reactions aren't much more attractive than his son's, and he's almost 30. How can he expect a child not yet 2 to behave better when grouchy than he does himself?

Needless to say, this is one of the best analogies I've seen in rearing children. They aren't finished yet. We're still building them from the ground up. In fact, the finished product won't be done (hopefully) until we're long gone and our little ones are grown and old and move on to be with God.