A little tough to explain, but an answer to my Infertility Struggle..

[W4amircale2]

Let me start by saying "Thank You" to all my CM friends that have been so supportive. This is not easy. I am trying to let it sink in, but this what I have waited for, an answer to this mystery of Infertility. I have been going through this for so long and it does not get any easier. I will never give up, but always have my moments of sadness, & move on. Yes I do I have one child and am soooooo forever grateful for him, but it still hurts. And please I am sick of hearing at least u have one! I still know what it feels like to not have any! I was there!
My journey has been a long one, but at least I am lucky to have had testing and great medical insurance to allow me to do the things I have done. As most of you know, this is the 3rd Dr I have been too, and 3rd time was the charm! He promised me when I sat down in front of him, that he would find my reason for not conceiving but could not promise me a baby! I liked him already, he is not God, he is an MD, and sure enough he was able to find my problem..
Since I did all the major tests, that most RE's do, the only thing left to do, was blood work, that they have studied at the Sher Institute & I think some other RE's around the globe do as well.. He tested me and hubby for Immunological testing, NK cells, and some blood disorder...
Its very difficult to explain, but he found that hubby and I share the same 4.1 DQ alpha, and my Natural Killer cells are high...Basically I kill off any embryo, it never has a chance to implant because I kill it off...Thats the Chemical PG's I have had...Those months that I sooo feel PG, I probably am for a split minute. My body just fights off any PG...So with that and the Endo not good.
So the only thing I can do in order to get Pg is do something that is called IVIG, its like a blood transfusion, thats the only way to explain it...Which is very expensive, and my Dr does something else which is a little less $$.
Try that and do natural cycle. Or Ivf with Ivig...
Basically I can't get Pg unless I do this Blood Transfusion thing...
I have a website that explains it more in detail, My mac doesn't let me copy and paste on CM..
Its just very complicated stuff...Has anyone ever heard of Natural Killer Cells or any of this?
Just trying to put it together where it makes sense...WOW, who would of known, all these months & YEARS, hoping and I couldn't ever get PG on my own...

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[rennez]

Jun. 10, 2008 at 9:27 PM Holy cow, I can only say I'm sorry.  I wish you guys the best.  Just a question, have you considered adoption? I know DH and I did/still are b/c of our issues.  I'll pray for you guys.  If you need to talk, let me know!  Infertility is so hard to cope with.

[hannahbanana01]

Jun. 10, 2008 at 10:02 PM

Oh, my goodness...I am so sorry!!!  That is a lot to take in, especially not being familiar with it!!  I wish you all the best that things will work out for you!!!

And I understand about how people tell you that 'At least you have one child' because DH and I are in the same boat.  We had a difficult time conceiving our DD and now we have been TTCAS for over three years.  We are blessed that we are going to become adoptive parents soon!!!  We so want a sibling for our daughter and this was the answer to our many prayers!!  Maybe that would be something to consider, too??

My thoughts are with you!!!

[momsomeday1113]

Jun. 10, 2008 at 10:04 PM

Saying sorry doesn't even begin to explain the saddness that I have for you.  I couldn't imagine getting that devestation.  How are you and DH doing as a couple.  I hope this doesn't come between you and I am praying for you and him.  Infertitlity is not fair or easy regardless of it being your first or 10th....it is hard to want something so bad and not have it..with nothing that you can do about it.  I understand that pain...this is something that you and I share.  GOd gave you one MIRACLE baby...believe in HIM....HE can do it again.  I am always praying for you.  If you need to talk...I am here :)

[ayerskplum]

Jun. 10, 2008 at 10:19 PM oh wow, I am so upset about this, I know you are way more than me....  I have heard of that but really didn't know much about it.  and just cause you have one child it doesn't hurt any less if you have the want for another.  You know I am here is you need to talk.  I will be praying for you!!!

[FaithM0710]

Jun. 10, 2008 at 11:36 PM Whew, im so sorry. I don't know what to say. I know this can be overcome, it sounds really scary and impossible but with the right doctors (and money) it can be done. There is still plenty of hope, this is just a big set back..an obstacle, I truly believe you will overcome. I will keep you and your DH in my prayers. ::hugs::

[SultryLadyBug]

Jun. 11, 2008 at 12:19 AM OMG I am so sorry, I mean of course you didn't want to hear that but atleast you have some answers. I pray for you still that the same way you got the first miracle you will conceive another. There is no mountain to high to overcome with the Grace and Mercy of God. Just know that he will pull you through you will conceive a healthy and happy child again, Keep your Faith!!!

[Shouston]

Jun. 11, 2008 at 8:30 AM

Im so sorry your going thru so much, Im glad you do have some answers, although not the ones im sure you were hoping for....   Im not really sure why people say "atleast you have one"  Sure I would like to know what its like to have One BUT no matter how many children you already have im sure wanting and longing for another doesn't make the pain any less!  Not to mention YOU know the pain of  what it was like TTC the ONE you do have.... 

Good Luck, Please Keep us updated !!!

[LisaMarieF6]

Jun. 11, 2008 at 9:38 AM aww sweety! i am so sorry to hear about this. i cannot imagine what you must be feeling and going through. the only thing i can say is that im happy that you have found the solution to your infertility and i know that of course its not good news and hard to hear, and for that im so so sorry. i wish the best for you and your hubby always and hope that maybe God will perform a miracle for you or that you can go ahead with that ivig to help you. good luck and baby dust, you are always in my prayers.

[crazedmom]

Jun. 11, 2008 at 10:13 AM I am so glad that you found a doctor which was able to explain to you what is going on with your body. I am glad you respect him and he is very honest. I wish you success, baby dust, vibes and everything else so you are blessed again.

[eband]

Jun. 11, 2008 at 10:36 AM

Steph, I am so sorry.  I have heard of this before but do not know much about it.  I can understand the shock and just trying to wrap your head around it.  I'm sure you are grateful to have answers but that doesn't make it any easier.  If you do decide to go through with the procedure I pray it will be a success.  You deserve it.  I know I've told you this a bunch before but you are an inspiration to me...I just want you to never forget how much your strength inspires others.  God Bless, Erin

 

Prayer to Heal the Pain of Infertility

Dear Lord, the pain of infertility is so deep. All of our lives, we dream of being mothers, of raising children with loving hearts to do your will on this earth. Month after month when that dream does not come true, it so painful, Lord. We feel like our dreams die each month with empty arms. Please guide us to trust in your plan for us. We desperately need you in our lives. Thank you for all the blessings we do have, knowing through you all things are possible. Amen