I really am having a hard time realizing that I really am pregnant.  I am almost 15 weeks and it hasn't really set in yet.  I don't really feel pregnant, for a lack of a better way to say that.  I am having a hard time believing that it is true and that this is finally it.  We tried for so long that now I am just sure that this couldn't be it.  I don't really understand why I am not more sure of the pregnancy.  One would think that since I am having twins I would be very aware of the fact that things are changing.  I am not saying that the physical changes aren't happening cause they are.  I have gained about 15 pounds and that's a lot on my body.  It is all in my tummy and boobs but I don't feel the kids.  I don't feel them move, I don't feel anything different down there.  I just don't understand why I don't feel more pregnant.  I don't know if maybe it is just that I am so scared and nervous that something will happen that I don't want to realize that this is finally what I have waited so long for.  I am kind of excited but not near as much as I thought I would be and I just don't have that pregnancy feeling  Not that I really know what I am suppose to feel like.  I just wish I could be more excited.  I thought I would be happy and bouncing off the walls by now but I don't have that YEAH feeling.  I hope that I am not alone in this but...  My mom doesn't understand why I am not happier.  I don't know if it is because I am so tired that I don't know what has happened to me.  I am completely worn out all the time.  I am starting to have the migraines again and lord knows that isn't fun but it is all for the babies and that makes it worth it.  We have even started remodeling the upstairs and I still don't feel like it is really happening.  I really really wish that I could feel the babies or something so that I would really know that something is going on in here.   We go in for an ultrasound on Monday and we will be 15weeks.  We are hoping beyond hope that the doctor will be able to tell what the sex of the babies is.  Maybe that will really hit the point home.  I just don't know.  I can't wait till I start feeling the movements of the babies.  I want them to kick and punch me all day long.  I want to know they are both there moving and growing like they should  I think my main worry right now is that I don't think I feel pregnant enough.  Should I be happier?  More excited?  I don't understand.  I know other women have to feel this way I just haven't found anyone to talk to about it.  I sometimes need someone to talk to about my fears and I am so stubborn that I refuse to show anyone that I am scared because for me that is a sign of weakness and I would hate to take away who I am.  To others I am the one who remains calm and level headed and is the strong one in any situation and I don't want anyone to think that I am scared.  But I think that is my main problem.  Any insights out there that might help me out?

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Jun. 11, 2008 at 6:53 PM Well being tired is a symptom of pregnancy. I misscarried my second baby and when I got pregnant again I was horribly affraid something would happen that time too, so instead of feeling happy and excited I just worried. I had cervical cancer and needed surgery when I found out I was pregnant and the two  pregnancies were 6 months appart so really I was still mourning the loss of our other baby. I talked about is with my nurse practioner and she seemed to think I was just stressed out. Try talking about it with your honey or if you want you can pm me.

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Jun. 12, 2008 at 9:03 AM

I know that I didn't start feeling Jayden move til I was closer to the 20 week mark. Don't fret, soon you will be able to feel them and they'll be kicking you in the ribs, and the bladder, and then you can feel pregnant. LOL

I love you girl, hang in there!

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