Need some advice please. Am I overreacting?

[mom2530]

My son's dad is one of those guys who is constantly going through women. Most of whom he meet's online. I don't like that he always exposing my son to these different women. I'm not a prude, or anything like that, but it concerns me. I date, but my kids don't meet them for awhile, and the guys don't spend the night. Matt let's cameron sleep with him and his girlfriends. They never last more then a few monthes. The latest one was apparently psycho. She and her daughter (who was about 14) moved in with matt. Cameron never liked her from the beginning. She forced my son to call her mommy, or else he got a time out or a spanking.  I got on Matt about it, he said I was just jealous and had to learn to live with him having someone in his life. Obviously this isn't the case, but that's all he says anytime I complain about things. Well, today he picked up cameron for father's day and told me that he and his gf are having problems and she moved out for awhile. The daughter is now living with her dad. Matt said sherry has been hitting him and beating up on him. She also took his grandfather clock and threw it through his glass railing upstairs. What bother's me is cameron has seen a lot of this. Matt said that when things got bad while cameron was over, he made him go to his room. But that cameron had seen sherry hittiing him and fighting. I would like to make a stipulation that cameron is no longer allowed to be around any girlfiends, but I am not sure if that is possible. I just don't think a 3 year old needs to be around this kind of thing.
Am I over reacting? Or is there something I can do?

[Hottscorpio26]

Jun. 15, 2008 at 4:52 PM

i dont think you are over reacting. i would feel the same way. but i am not sure what can be done about that unless she starts hitting Cameron the way she does Matt. I dont think its a healthy environment for him though.

[Wiifeytype1025]

Jun. 15, 2008 at 4:55 PM

I dont think you can make a stipulation that he cant have his girlfriends around his son, but you can put something in there about no overnight visitors... but even then its hard to enforce...

I don't know how old your son is but I dont think they can testify unless they are a certain age so its just hard to enforce that.. and youll be in court all the time with contempt charges on him... but if its something you want to try, it might even just scare him out of it... you can always call the police to do a safety check on your son, and have them put in the report who was present at the location.. (if you suspect something of course)

[Wiifeytype1025]

Jun. 15, 2008 at 5:02 PM Oh I want to add that my daughters father is the same way when we arent together, hes had 3 gf's in the period of the 6 months shes been together, plus me, weve been together on and off for the last 2ish years... so yeah, 3 women my daughter never should have met! But he lived with them, he wont even let me bring anyone around her not even my guy friends or even half of my female friends! crazy

[PerpetualPonder]

Jun. 15, 2008 at 5:08 PM

My friend had a similar situation, but she used the attorney that handled her divorce.  If  you have a formal visitation order,  you can use an attorney or file yourself to have a judge review it based on what is happening now. That being said, start writing everything down, dates and times. He's aadmitted the gf is violent and that your son has seen it - that should be on page one. Quote as closely as you can. Wite everyihing very objectively - unless your son specifically says he was scared or angry, don't write it.  It's not the best evidence if you haven't seen it occurring personally, but it's something tangible.

If you don't have an attorney, call your local legal aid society and they can help you with any paperwork, etc.  Good luck!!

[mom2530]

Jun. 15, 2008 at 7:00 PM Thanks for all the feed back, it's a big help. I wouldnt care if he had one, normal, sane, steady gf. But all this up and down roller coaster drama bothers me. I will definently take everyones advice and see what I can come up with.
Thanks again.

(Original Poster)

[Jjoneslagrange]

Jun. 23, 2009 at 7:55 PM

I don't know about where you live, but in Georgia you can be charged with 3rd degree child cruelty for just yelling at one another in front of a child. Check with your local police department and see if these laws apply where you live. My dad was a single parent and I never met one of his girlfriends until he was sure things were going to be serious between them, and if he wanted her to spend the night he sent me to my grandma or my moms house. I don't think that you are over reaacting at all! You're just being a good mom!!!!!