Life's big waves can knock you down hard

[hollywogs]

My FIL found out he has pancreatic cancer today.  We are a very close family and my inlaws live 3 miles away from us.  We see and talk to them daily.  They are staple in my kids lives.  We vacation at least once a year together as an extended family.  We help each other out no matter how hard it is.  I feel like all our worlds are colliding right now.  The girls are in high school and they change every day.  Our little boy is growing like a weed and now I wonder if he will remember his peepaw.  That makes me very sad that Sam may not remember much of him because he is a great grandfather and Sam is lucky to have him as role model and a family member.  My husband is taking this hard and I feel so badly for him.  I said good bye to my parents years ago and it is something that is behind me but my husbands grief is in front of him.  He plays golf with his dad a few times a month.  We prank peepaw quite a bit and although he is 75 he always has time to laugh.

I start a new job next week.  I'm going back to work after a very long hiatus to have kids so this is huge.  I'm already feeling the strain of changing everyones lives but I need to get back into my career.  It was always something I planned on doing and I'm so happy to have finished college and landed a dream job.  I guess balloons are made to be burst as my happiness is short lived.  I'll do my best to be great at what I do and take care of my family.  Now I need to add in taking care of parents.  I guess this is why we are called the sandwich generation because we are sandwiched in between taking care of our kids and our parents.

At the beginning of August we are going on a cruise to celebrate my inlaws 50th wedding anniversary.  Our entire family is going which adds up to close to 50 people and we've been planning for this for a couple years.  We've decided not to tell the kids that peepaw is sick until we get back so they have one more vacation with him that is care free.  Time is like water... it is a basic element that we need to live and we can't just make it up.  It is the most valuable resource and gift we can give to each other.  As each second ticks by that moment can never be done again, only remembered.

This is one of life's big waves that wash over you trying to pull you down.  As a wife and mother I am trying to keep everyone's head above water but the waves are getting bigger and bigger.  I choose to keep swimming and encouraging everyone around me to keep swimming too.  Sinking is just not what I want to do nor do I want to let anyone I love sink either.  I'm so sad for my kids and husband.  We are all taking a terrible beating from these ocean waves.

[TriniCruzan]

Jun. 27, 2008 at 5:12 AM Hey girlfriend, WOW. I had no idea... thanks for always being there for me. And I am here for you also because I know how it feels with the cancer patients and any illness for that matter. Hang in there and keep doing what you do best, being you. And keep enjoying your family, you never know what tomorrow will bring when you can't do the things you want to do.  The time is now.  HUGS!!!! and keep me posted. Ann Marie