Feeling like a bad mommy. . .

[2wonderkids]

I just really don't know how to deal some days.  I really try to do things that I know that atleast my almost three year old will really enjoy but when it's time to switch to something else or to leave that place she just throws a fit.  We were just over at my mother-in-laws house who lives just two doors over.  I told Emma that she had two more minutes to play then we had to leave.  Once her two minutes were over she wanted to stay and watch Sponge Bob, which I NEVER let her watch, my MIL on the other hand lets her watch anything she wants.  I told her we had to go so she starts asking about marshmallows.  I told her okay but I was trying to talk to my MIL as well.  Emma just starts yelling it and I took hold of her arm and told her to stop she then hits me.  Right as we are leaving so to follow through with our no hitting rule I put her on the couch in time out.  We then procede home and she was fine.  Then we get home and she starts talking about marshmallows, I told her she could have 2 and she says no all.  All the way upstairs just arguing about it.  She starts yelling and I start raising my voice cause I just want her to understand that she isn't going to get any if she doesn't stop.  She end up in time out once again.  I end up giving her the marshmallows and she tells me to be nice.  I just don't know what to do.  I love her more than anything  and I don't want the time now to effect our relationship later in life.  I feel like sometimes I really don't handle my anger with her like I should and that I raise my voice with her too much, well I shouldn't at all.  I just know that I don't want to be the mom that I am right now, I want to handle situations with her much better and calmer.  I have a very strained relationship with my parents because of their anger issues and I will not do that to either one of my kids,  I REALLY have to get a hold on it now.                                                                            

[SensualScents]

Jun. 27, 2008 at 2:06 PM

You may need to implement another punishment other than timeouts. Kids have a way of getting used to a particular punishment if we give it too often. Perhaps pull out a garbage bag and every time she hits you she has to pick out a toy to put in the bag. You will need to come up with some way for her to EARN that toy back. Sometimes when I catch myself yelling alot (and thats where I am weak) I switch it up by getting down to their level. I hold their head with both hands so they have to look at me. And I almost whisper what I have to say. Mine tend to straighten up a bit when I do that. She is 3 and it is the age of pushing her limits and boundaries. It will pass but its gonna take a bit!

 

Good Luck!

[SnoozeButton]

Jun. 27, 2008 at 3:41 PM

You're not a bad mom at all.  And trust, me, we all loose our tempers and yell.  Honestly, my son and I both have time-outs when we're getting frazzled.  For the past few months, I have completely refused to yell.  And when we start debating (over candy before dinner, etc), I silently take his hand and sit him in his time-out chair, while I sit on the sofa.  No tv, radio, anything... for either of us.  This helps me to calm down and have re-think things, you know? 

 This might not be much help, but I really hope you learn to have patience with yourself!  We moms are learning too!