Motherly Anxiety

[Emjay]

I have a bad case of it at the moment.

DD is packing to travel for the rest of the summer. DH's sister is in visiting while passing through for their summer vacation and DD is going along.

From here they're going to Chicago and Michigan, and then on up to spend a few days in Canada. Then from there will travel on down south and cross the country to go back to their home in Denver where she will stay the remaining summer.

One moment I'm excited she's getting to see things that she may not otherwise get to experience and then the next moment I cry and want to tell her to stay home.

When I think I'm okay with it, I then remember she is flying alone and that alone scares the crap out of me.

I'm a wreck! My nerves are shot and the anxiety is making me short tempered with her and I certainly don't want her last few days at home to be miserable. It would be nice if she was to miss us just a little.  :)

She was gone the past week and half at camp. I was okay with that until now when I realized I'm only going to see her for a couple days then she's gone.

Then the jealousy sets in. I'm not usually an envious person but they're providing her things that DH and I just can't do right now with the opening of our own business. They're providing things that we as a parent should be able to give her and it just slightly ticks me off. I know it shouldn't but it does.

I don't want her coming back at the end of summer resenting us for not being able to provide the kind of comforts and extras she will be getting with her aunt & uncle.

What am I gonna do without my baby girl for the weeks to come?

[Jillysmom]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 7:07 AM Em, I have so many emotions going thru me just reading this that I don't know what to say. 1st off remember you are a wonderful mother and you and your DD love each other. I think everyone of the feeling you have are perfectly normal. I am should she is going to miss you also. Is there anyway you and her can maybe go out for lunch or something before she leaves, just the 2 of you. Tell her how much you are gonna miss her. Maybe try packing a little surprise for her in her bag. Get her a book of postcard stamps before she leaves and have her send postcards from each place they go. As far as flying along, I would be scared too and maybe she is also. Is there anyway at all your sister could fly back with her, or you fly out there to meet her? I which I had some answers for you hon.

[DanaR13]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 9:15 AM Em....Ugh, my stomach is in knots for you! I get anxiety when I send my DS to my inlaws for an overnight trip! Everything will be Ok....you are just gonna miss her like crazy! You wouldn't be MOM if that didnt happen!

Dana

[irishhillbilly]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 10:04 AM

Aww Em,  She is going to miss you like crazy! Right now she is just so excited for something new!! She is your baby and will always come home to you!!

Every parent has those feelings of slight jealousy!! You are completely normal and completely human!! Our kids are ours. No one is suppose to be able to do for them what we are suppose to. I have those feelings alot.. But you both are being blessed. She is getting to go on an adventure that she will never forget and you get to see just how much you love and appreciate your daughter. Of course you already love her and appreciate her, now you are given a chance to see it in action. And when she comes home she will know how much she has loved and missed you while she was gone.

Of course you are nervous about the plane ride and the whole trip itself. Your a mom. Worry is part of the territory as you have known for years. Still doesn't make it any easier, does it.? But, put her in God's hands as I'm sure you already have and we will all keep her in our prayers and she will come back to you!! She will not come back resenting you. She will probably thank you for giving her a chance to do this.

I hope you feel better!! We all totally understand!!! We are here if you need any of us!!

[angel28]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 10:19 AM

poor Emjay. I would feel the same way as u. Don't worry she'll be fine. and she will thank u for letting her have that experience. It just my bring u all closer. Hang in there girl.

 

[mom2sierrarose]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 10:32 AM HUGS!!! I hear ya. Charlie is flying down to Florida by himself on Saturday to spend a month with his mom. I am so nervous to have him fly alone christa decided not to go. And I'm going to miss him like crazy. He's such a big help to me and just his company during the day is nice. But I am glad the mom wants him to come and promises to do fun things with him when she isn't working I just hope she holds up to it. And I feel if she does actually do all this great stuff with him will he want to go move there with her permanently? Since having 5 kids here doesn't allow us to do many things right now. I hope your able to keep your mind occupied for some time but I do know you will miss her like crazy

[mshaiku]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 10:35 AM

She will miss you, and I can guarantee she won't resent you. If you didn't let her go, then she'd resent you. When I was young we had an aunt and uncle who provided well and beyond in material comforts and toys etc. for my cousins. When we'd visit we'd get to play with all the latest stuff that we didn't have in a bigger, more beautiful home, but we never resented our Mom for not providing the same. It was just a special thing we got to do when we visited and our cousins never appreciated the things they had. Just enjoy the fact that she is adventurous enough to want to spread her wings a little. The summer will be a time for you to connect more with your boys and I'm meaning the big one too! Love you.

Stay inspired!
Michelle

[bvh789]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 6:33 PM {{{{}}}}  Carson flew on a plane for the very first time last summer, so I can definitely understand how you're feeling.  And I can understand the jealousy you're feeling and worrying that she might resent you.  But I don't think she will.  {{{{}}}

[DesignGirl450]

Jun. 30, 2008 at 6:47 PM

It's hard when they get old enough to go away without their parents.  My 16-year-old left this morning with a friend's family to go to their cabin on a lake a couple of hours away.   She will be gone until Saturday.  Then, in a few weeks, she will go to a camp in Bellingham, WA where she goes every summer.  I always miss her so much, and her room seems so empty (and a lot less messy!).  I suppose this must be nature's way of preparing us for when they permanently fly the nest. 

What your daughter will remember when she is grown up is what she did with her parents, when you made her favourite meals, and hugged her when she was sad.   It won't have mattered if she didn't have all the latest expensive brand name clothes or  electronics.   She will remember that she was loved by you.

Lynda

 

 

[RoseWall]

Nov. 29, 2008 at 3:48 AM

wow. i remember those days. this will bring you closer. hang in there. letting her go is a major step in giving her a taste of independence. its a good thing. i understand. i have a dd. who has traveled. across the state , across the country and across the sea. it will be a growth experience she will appreciate. i know it will be hard for you. yet i can say this. each time it gets a little bit easier. hugs to you. and know that this experience will change her in a way that will nothing else can. its a good kind of change.

huggles

RW