Not a good day

[MegaMamaTX]

I had my dermatologist appointment today. Needless to say, on the way over I was thinking Id go in, they'd freeze off my wart and off Id go.  WRONG! I dont have a wart. I have psoriasis! On my elbow and knee. She checked me out and found more - my nails showed signs, my other elbow.,... blah. So she gave me some creams for them.

Then I showed her the few spots on my tummy (I thought it would be more of the same). She determined that nope... that was something else. (I wont say here because I dont want others to look it up and feel sorry for me.) Wants to take a biopsy. Oh no! My mind starts spinning and before I know it, Im completely upset (which in turn causes me additional embarrassment). Ugh! I just wanted to run! But she told me what she thought it was and said not to read about it on the internet until the tests came back for sure. (I just wanted to ask her, then why did you tell me what it was???)   But in my heart, I know she's right.

Turns out 5 years ago I didnt have RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis), but I had Psoriatic Arthritis, and probably still do. Great! Not only do I have that, but I have 2 other issues going on with it. 3 things! Now I get to make more doctors appointments to see my rheumatologist, have the biopsy done, get bloodwork done, decide on treatment, and go thru all of that.

*cries* Why me? Why do I have to have this? As if its not bad enough to be overweight and have people make fun of you, but to add insult to injury is just plain cruel.  

When I was little, I thought my mom was the prettiest woman in the whole world and I was so lucky to have her as MY mom. Will my girls ever feel that way about me? I doubt it now. Its really upsetting to know that beauty isnt skin deep until it really is and you'll never be beautiful on the outside (albeit from disease or whatever reason).

Im sorry to vent and have this be such a downer, but I just have to get this out.

My biopsy is scheduled for the 15th and we'll know more then.

 

[MommaHubbard]

Jul. 2, 2008 at 11:26 PM I hope the biopsy goes ok and everything turn-out that you are healthy. My kids have eczema and I think they are gorgeous! They just have to be constantly creamed-up and greasy. I am glad we are here to listen to you vent (and me when I need it!) and please keep us posted!