I would just like to thank all of you my friends here on CM for all of there support and prayers you have sent to my family especially to my Dad these last few months.  It saddens me to tell you that he passed away Thurs July 3rd at 3:30pm.  He has been fighting the toughest fight I believe there is for these last 6months, A fight with Cancer.  It is truly a blessing that he is gone now because these last 3 days have been nothing but horrible pain, no sleep and continuous poking and prodding from every nurse there was on the floor.  Anyone who tells me that everyone who suffers from cancer aren't in pain LIE...I have never ever seen anyone in as much pain as he was in for 3 yes 3 straight days with no grace period at all.  Our family doctor came in and said that he has never seen anyone with that much pain.  The palliative care nurse came in and asked him to describe how his pain felt and he said "like someone is pounding me with  a hammer on all of my organs"  The pain meds that he was on were 3 times stronger than morphine.

We weren't ready for him to leave us but it was  for the best..No one should have to suffer like he did.  The sad thing was that they were taking him to do a CT scan to see if they nicked an organ because there was air in his belly which they thought was causing some of the pain.  They said it wouldn't change the time he had left but could at least put him in some form of comfort for his last few weeks.  We aggreed to that as long as it made him comfortable to live out his last few weeks.  Well the nurse came up from the CT scan and told us "they can't fix the air in his belly, but you will see that his breathing is slower"  We were told the meds would do that to help him sleep that didnt really concern us until we looked at him HE LOOKED HORRIBLE...The nurse told us that he may only have minutes left to live MINUTES...she turned around and checked his heartbeat and she said "He is gone already"  He passed in the hallway on his way back from the CT scan.  We didnt even have time to say goodbye to him and that we loved him.  HE WAS GOING FOR A SCAN HE WAS COMING BACK...we thought we would see him again. 

We have the arraingements made for Tues July 8th and then the funeral July 9th..I have to go for my U/S on Thursday July 10th..I was going that day so that my Dad will know what I was having incase he didnt make it until September.  Many say that he already knows what I am having but that really doesnt make me feel that much better.  AND honestly I know people mean well but if anyone says to me again "He is in a better place, and They say one leaves this earth and one is born" I am gonna freak..I know that is true..I have heard it many many times before.  BUT IT DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 

Thanks for listening and all of your prayers..I dont know what I would have done without you girls...

Love Lyn

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