I am having a really hard time..first my cat dies, then I get this abcess..then I find out that I've had MRSA for atleast a year without the doctor saying anything and that it can be fatal.  I'm scared and overwhelmed and feel so incredibly lost.

what have a I done to deserve this? I have not been a perfect person, I will admitt that but I feel like I have been a good person.  I have tried my hardest for the last six years to make a nice life for my family.  I've given up so many things for myself so I could give to others.  I put myself last 99% of the time..and that other 1% is when I do something exciting like..oh I don't know take a shower.  I haven't had the easiest life..infact it's been hard.  I'm not asking for easy or simple, I just don't want to be scared all the time and I am..I've lived my entire life scared for one reason or another.  Scared of my parents, scared Matt will leave me, scared because I have no one, scared for my kids, and now scared for myself. 

I miss my cat.  I've already went looking for her a few times before realizing that she wasn't here anymore.  We were getting cat food at walmart yesterday and Matt slipped up and said "THEY need..I mean Dory needs food" and it was a simple slip but cut like a knife.

I have to go to the doctor today to get my stuffing replaced.  I hope they can get me in..I'll have to call them at 9 when they open.  I took my antibiotic last night and it gave me the worst stomach and back ache that I think I've ever had..and no I'm not exaggerating.

Well, I'm going to go take my morning antibiotic and hope that it doesn't cause that awful pain like last time.

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