Babies For Sale
- July 8, 2008 at 3:11 AM by casjoh
- 39 Comment(s)
- 1281 Total Views
I wonder sometimes if the majority of society truly realizes the truth of what happens in domestic infant adoption. Those who proclaim what a wonderful act it is – are they aware of the ugliness that hides behind the prettiness? Are they aware of the severe grief and loss caused to both mother and child for the benefit of another?
I can’t believe, or rather I do not want to believe, that we have become so cold and uncaring that as a whole we feel nothing for what happens to young, pregnant women in their most desperate time of need. Are we really in the mindset to support beliefs in which we take an infant away from his or her mother when she has done NOTHING WRONG? To give that baby to another woman deemed more “worthy” simply because of the size of her bank account or marital status?
The ugly, heart-wrenching truth of domestic infant adoption lies not in the pretty picture of a child desperately in need of a home and a couple stepping in to save him or her. It lies in a multi-billion dollar industry, recognizing the desperation of those who want a baby of their own and using that desperation to line their pockets with more and more money. It lies in some who claim they are “helping” young, pregnant woman by taking their babies rather than supporting and helping them raise their children. In those who believe they have a right to another’s baby because they can’t or choose not to have a baby of their own.
Infants are not merchandise. They are human beings. Nobody should ever be disregarded in the way innocent babies are in “price lists” such as those below (taken from an adoption listing of “available situations”) . . .
**Birth Mother with a 1/2 Caucasian 1/2 African American baby Girl. $20,000.00**
**Birth Mother due with a full Caucasian baby gender unknown. $33,000.00**
**Birth Mother due with Full Caucasian Baby gender unknown. $28,000.00.**
**Birth Mother due with a Full African American baby gender unknown. $ 22,000.00**
Notice how Caucasian babies “cost” more. And this is considered okay? Understandable by some. Encouraged by others.
Placing a price tag on unborn babies, the dollars varying according to race, is wrong. So very, very wrong! And yet it’s accepted and practiced within our society – a fact I do not and never will understand.
Moms and their unborn children are being reduced to nothing more than items to be bought and sold. And we stand behind this! Call it great thing! WHY?
How can anyone support an act that encourages marketing and advertising in high schools and colleges, pregnancy centers and teen parenting programs? All in the hopes of attaining more babies to sell to hopeful couples.
There is nothing great in that. Nothing loving or caring. Only a deep, dark ugliness so many refuse to see or admit to. But it exists, lingering heavy in the real world of domestic infant adoption, harming so many moms and babies. Creating emotional scars that last a lifetime.
It starts with the mom, bringing her in, offering her comfort and understanding while at the same time telling her the many ways she will fail in her hopes of being a good mother. Her “counseling” includes encouragement for how brave and selfless she will be if she creates an adoption plan, reminds her of the failures she faces if she chooses to parent her own son or daughter.
She is portrayed as a hero in those months of her pregnancy and yet often finds criticism after she has lost her child. Judged by the very same society that holds adoption so high on a pedestal. A society blindly supporting the manipulation of young, pregnant woman, the selling of infants, while turning a blind eye to the sufferings both mother and child experience after such a terrible separation.
It’s time to learn the truth of domestic infant adoption. Time to chip away at old beliefs shrouded in the unknown. First/Natural moms and adoptees are speaking out, sharing stories of confusion and loss. Of feelings of abandonment and a grief that never goes away.
Society needs to listen to them, hear what their words echo. It’s time to turn a deaf ear to the multi-billion dollar adoption industry. Time to see through their “fairy-tales” of a win-win situation. Of infants being rescued from their mothers at birth. There is nothing for them to be rescued from!
We can’t go on assuming anyone who speaks up about adoption is only carrying on because they had a bad experience. Many are speaking out from many different situations. Some bad, some good. Their voices need, and deserve, to be heard.
As a society, we have fought against many “wrongs.” Now is the time to fight against the “wrongs” brought against a mother and child in domestic infant adoption.
Tags: adoption, adoptees, birthmoms, natural moms, first moms, adoptive parents, adopting
- Written by casjoh on July 8, 2008 at 3:11 AM
- 1281 total views
- See all posts by casjoh
Comments:
Further reading, for anyone who doubts that adoption is a huge industry that is laid on the foundation of exploiting and coercing vulnerable mothers to surrender their newborn infants:
Adoption Is Big Business in America, by Darlene Gerow.
"The Stork Market: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry " by Mirah Riben
Billion-dollar baby trade: The darker side of adoption
... and the evidence on coercion: http://www.originscanada.org/coercion_quotes.html
Natural mothers are often seen as nothing other than convenient incubators and baby-production units, disposable after the birth of the child that is going to bring money to the agency that has convinced her to surrender, and a child to the people who have paid the agency to do that, to obtain a baby for them. adoption is no longer a service to provide a home for orphans, but a service to obtain a baby for a childless couple.
There's also many wonderful situations in adoptions. Most adoption agencies are non-profit, and those costs/fees involved go to the birth mother for medical fees, etc. This post if very one-sided, for obvious reasons.
I think it's funny that someone said they'd adopt a kid later in life... but what's convenient for them now is having a BABY. Hmmm.... I guess you wanted a BABY too, or your would have adopted an older child. So why would you think other mother's wouldn't like to start their family with a baby too?
**Most adoption agencies are non-profit, and those costs/fees involved go to the birth mother for medical fees, etc. **
This belief is just another myth that needs to be exposed. EVERY so-called non-profit organization must file a 990 tax form. Here are just a few "non-profit" incomes from such organizations (money that obviously doesn't make it to the moms they are supposively helping) . . .
- The Children's Aid Society - 2005 - CEO annual income - $387,683.00 -
- Gladney Center - 2006 - President annual income - $248,312.00 -
- Adoptions From The Heart - Executive Director annual income - $239,581.00 -
These are only a few from those who claim to be non-profit. Imagine what the for-profit agencies are making by manipulating young, pregnant women and selling their babies.
And so this information is not accused of being "one-sided" . . . this site has a good listing of 990's from non-profit adoption agencies -
http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/14774
Also, you can search
For the 990 information for any non-profit organization.
I am an adoptee and as such truly sickened and repulsed by the price tags placed on children. Non~profit my ass. The adoption agencies are making a lot of money including the top executives. I had No idea how truly egregious it was. Thank you for enlightening me.
I agree we all need to be heard Now.........and all Adoption Records need to be Open!
Hannah Owner http://www.cafemom.com/group/touchedbyadoption
DaphneMae said " There's also many wonderful situations in adoptions. Most adoption agencies are non-profit, and those costs/fees involved go to the birth mother for medical fees, etc. This post if very one-sided, for obvious reasons."
DaphneMae, you have such a positive view of adoption that I can only assume that you are on the "side" that gains all from adoption (people who adopt), not the side that loses everything (the natural mother). Adoption is wonderful if you have obtained a child through adoption and have not lost anything. Adoption is far less than wonderful if it is your child who you've forever lost.
Considering the extreme lifelong trauma and pain that is inflicted on mothers who are coerced to surrender their babies (and the majority DO face coercion), I do no think that there is anything "wonderful" about dooming a mother to a life of depression, unresolved grief and loss, and PTSD.
But back to what you say about agencies:
I am amazed you believe this "nonprofit" sales-pitch. Non-profit agencies can call themselves "non-profit" ONLY because unlike a company there are no shareholders to be paid dividends and who get capital gains when they sell shares. HOWEVER, profits in supposedly "nonprofit" agencies get paid to directors, staff, and other employees. And as staff (and director) wages depend on babies being "sold," there is extreme financial incentive to "turn a sale." Because your paycheque depends on sales. No sales = no wages, no rent paid, no income for directors, etc. A TRULY non-profit service would not depend on sales! Whether there be 100 adoptions per year or zero would not matter to the bottom line.
Secondly you state, "those costs/fees involved go to the birth mother for medical fees, etc." -- and this practice is entrapment. If the mother decides to keep her baby, she has to pay back these expenses. Thus, she finds herself with NO choice once her baby is born. This may sound harsh, but the ethical truth is that her baby is being purchased via a "downpayment" or "installment plan" by payments being made to her during her pregnancy and/or hospital stay. This is done solely to pressure her to surrender her baby once her baby is born. It is a legal loophole that still basically constitutes baby-buying and ensures that she is financially-obligated (or feels morally obligated) to hand over her baby. No wonder other nations see this as human trafficking.
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Thank you for sharing this post. I was aware of adoption and people paying for infants ( say prenatal care, labor and delivery/hospital stay, maternity leave), but never at this extent. Well, maybe in the "black market".
You struck a chord with this: "It starts with the mom, bringing her in, offering her comfort and understanding while at the same time telling her the many ways she will fail in her hopes of being a good mother. Her “counseling” includes encouragement for how brave and selfless she will be if she creates an adoption plan, reminds her of the failures she faces if she chooses to parent her own son or daughter."
I am 22 years old with two small babies (22 months and 8 months). When I became pregnant with my first, my aunt deemed me unworthy of a child, too. She asked me, "whats the magic number?" I was confused by this question and I thought she was referring to my progress in the pregnancy. I responded by saying, "8 weeks". She said, "no, when you can get rid of it?!" I was shocked, disappointed, angry, and hurt. She told me there were plenty of options for me such as adoption. I deem adoption not a solution for me. It some instances it could be potentially harmful to a child.
Thanks for sharing. You are right, we should do something about this unethical and unmoral behavior that is taking place. We shouldn't be blinded or turn our heads away to say, "not my problem".
sophperserve Jul. 8, 2008 at 3:25 AM