Babies For Sale

[casjoh]

I wonder sometimes if the majority of society truly realizes the truth of what happens in domestic infant adoption.  Those who proclaim what a wonderful act it is – are they aware of the ugliness that hides behind the prettiness?  Are they aware of the severe grief and loss caused to both mother and child for the benefit of another?

 

I can’t believe, or rather I do not want to believe, that we have become so cold and uncaring that as a whole we feel nothing for what happens to young, pregnant women in their most desperate time of need.  Are we really in the mindset to support beliefs in which we take an infant away from his or her mother when she has done NOTHING WRONG?  To give that baby to another woman deemed more “worthy” simply because of the size of her bank account or marital status?

 

The ugly, heart-wrenching truth of domestic infant adoption lies not in the pretty picture of a child desperately in need of a home and a couple stepping in to save him or her.  It lies in a multi-billion dollar industry, recognizing the desperation of those who want a baby of their own and using that desperation to line their pockets with more and more money.  It lies in some who claim they are “helping” young, pregnant woman by taking their babies rather than supporting and helping them raise their children.  In those who believe they have a right to another’s baby because they can’t or choose not to have a baby of their own.

 

Infants are not merchandise.  They are human beings.  Nobody should ever be disregarded in the way innocent babies are in “price lists” such as those below (taken from an adoption listing of “available situations”) . . .

 

**Birth Mother with a 1/2 Caucasian 1/2 African American baby Girl.  $20,000.00**

 

**Birth Mother due with a full Caucasian baby gender unknown.   $33,000.00**

 

**Birth Mother due with Full Caucasian Baby gender unknown.  $28,000.00.**

 

**Birth Mother due with a Full African American baby gender unknown.  $ 22,000.00**

 

Notice how Caucasian babies “cost” more.  And this is considered okay?  Understandable by some.  Encouraged by others.    

 

Placing a price tag on unborn babies, the dollars varying according to race, is wrong.  So very, very wrong!  And yet it’s accepted and practiced within our society – a fact I do not and never will understand.

 

Moms and their unborn children are being reduced to nothing more than items to be bought and sold.  And we stand behind this!  Call it great thing!  WHY?

 

How can anyone support an act that encourages marketing and advertising in high schools and colleges, pregnancy centers and teen parenting programs?  All in the hopes of attaining more babies to sell to hopeful couples.

 

There is nothing great in that.  Nothing loving or caring.  Only a deep, dark ugliness so many refuse to see or admit to.  But it exists, lingering heavy in the real world of domestic infant adoption, harming so many moms and babies.  Creating emotional scars that last a lifetime.

 

It starts with the mom, bringing her in, offering her comfort and understanding while at the same time telling her the many ways she will fail in her hopes of being a good mother.  Her “counseling” includes encouragement for how brave and selfless she will be if she creates an adoption plan, reminds her of the failures she faces if she chooses to parent her own son or daughter.

 

She is portrayed as a hero in those months of her pregnancy and yet often finds criticism after she has lost her child.  Judged by the very same society that holds adoption so high on a pedestal.  A society blindly supporting the manipulation of young, pregnant woman, the selling of infants, while turning a blind eye to the sufferings both mother and child experience after such a terrible separation.

 

It’s time to learn the truth of domestic infant adoption.  Time to chip away at old beliefs shrouded in the unknown.  First/Natural moms and adoptees are speaking out, sharing stories of confusion and loss.  Of feelings of abandonment and a grief that never goes away.

 

Society needs to listen to them, hear what their words echo.  It’s time to turn a deaf ear to the multi-billion dollar adoption industry.  Time to see through their “fairy-tales” of a win-win situation.  Of infants being rescued from their mothers at birth.  There is nothing for them to be rescued from!

 

We can’t go on assuming anyone who speaks up about adoption is only carrying on because they had a bad experience.  Many are speaking out from many different situations.  Some bad, some good.  Their voices need, and deserve, to be heard.

 

As a society, we have fought against many “wrongs.”  Now is the time to fight against the “wrongs” brought against a mother and child in domestic infant adoption.

  

Tags: adoptees, adopting, adoption, adoptive parents, birthmoms, first moms, natural moms

Add A Comment

[Crissy1213]

Jul. 9, 2008 at 2:51 PM I just want to comment on the part where Caucasian babies cost more than African American ...If you look at statistics White women have more conception problems than African women so White babies are kinda in a higher demand its not that they are saying African babies are not worth that much money its just they know they can make more money off of the fact more white people have fertility issues so they  adopt more!  I guarantee that if it was vice versa so would the prices...

[momsamillion]

Jul. 9, 2008 at 3:24 PM Thank you!  That is the experience I had.....  treated like a hero, loved and supported throughout the pregnancy and then dumped into the cold and treated like a horrible person for "losing" my baby.  I have been critized and even told I didn't deserve my sons because I gave their older brother away.  WOW!  I would love to adopt but I want to see  it done through foster care and DSS NOT an agency....

[casjoh]

Jul. 9, 2008 at 8:44 PM

**Not all mothers are coerced.  I am sorry if you were, but that is not always the case.**

Perhaps not all mothers are coerced.  But whether they are coercied, manipulated, encouraged, lied to, tricked or simply not given the support that is their right as a human being, it doesn't change the fact that those who are "counseling" pregnant woman in adoption are also the very same ones who profit if she surrenders her child to adoption.  And just the very fact that the NCFA exists creates a question if any adoption truly is of a woman's free will. 

The NCFA is an organization funded by the billion-dollar adoption industry.  Large sums of money is "donated" to this organization to support the Lobbyists they send to Washington.  The marketing they flash through the media.  The creation of programs to teach counselors how to better convince a woman to surrender her baby.

Again, I have to ask . . . how do we as a society accept these kind of measures against a woman and her child?  There are so many "wrongs' in the practice of domestic infant adoption.

It should sicken us that people are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year off selling babies.  It should flash a big red light that other countries are disgusted by adoption practices here and yet we still continue to accept and encourage such a violation against women and children.

(Original Poster)

[bobbysmom819]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 4:52 AM bobbysmom tri state adoption.I am insulted that woman who could bear nateral children would judge those who could not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!My son did cost a fee for hospital legal and for his safety making sure he went to a good home. His b mom was helped withinm the parameters of the law.Psychological treatment is also given. these girls and woman are choosing this and now days its babies having babies know your facts befour you judge or pass ciment my son is truly my son/nature or nurture?

[casnjus]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 12:00 PM

In reply to bobbysmom.  First off, yea your son came with a price tag, or as you would call it, a fee. 

My mom paid the ultimate price, and that's one that is greater then money. His "B Mom" was deceived within the parameters of the law and the adoption agencies.  There is no way you are this, well simply put, naive.

And I'm sorry to say that "adoption" psychologist are a little off their rocker and want a mom to choose adoption as much as the aparents so they can get their next paycheck.

Facts before you judge??? Are you serious?  FACT,  the adoption industry, yes I use the word industry, makes billions of billions dollors. GO look at what the founders and CEO's of these "Non Profit Organizations" bank every year. 6 figures ma am, 6 freaking figures. Hell I would love to be making non profit money.

Don't tell my mother to go get facts when you have enough trouble standing up and understanding the truth.  You are entitled to your opinion, however the FACTS remain the same.

That is all  

[mnmommy1]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 7:12 PM I am very glad to see this post, I applaud you for writing this and sharing this with others. It is the truth and needs to be heard. Thank you!

[RavenSwift]

Jul. 13, 2008 at 11:27 AM my mother was bought in 1960 for a aum of 5,000  she is native american and white  her parents were in there 45's when she was ad opted she was spoiled rotten but they have no records of her birth other than "they gave birth to her "    she is going thru life knowing someone made her mother she hopes or maybe her mom needed that money but her parents loved her enough to spend 5000 dollars on her ...... her mother was supposed to be 13    

[elwalters77]

Jul. 13, 2008 at 10:20 PM As someone thinking of trying to adopt, I am doing my research and am not interested in using an adoption agency because of this reason.  Of course I would love to adopt a baby to see grow and watch every milestone, but I would be happy to adopt an older, waiting child as well.  When I contact a mother considering adoption, I encourage her to look at all of her options and be completely sure she is making the right choice.  There are some people out there willing to pay any price for a baby, just as there are some women who feel pressured into giving their child up.  Not all PAPs are this way, just as not all Natural Mothers are pressured into their choice.  It is terrible that those sorts of things happen, but in the end, it is that person's decision.  I agree completely that adoption is in many cases a money making industry, just as diseases are (there are reasons they don't cure cancer or diabetes - too many people profit from those unfortunate enough to have the diseases), but without adoption, where would orphaned children, foster children or wards of the state go?  More PAPs need to consider adopting a waiting child truely in need of a home.

[lae26]

Jul. 14, 2008 at 8:31 PM

I think it is true that there is a lot of baby "buying" going on in this country.  It is a very unregulated industry, and for that I am sad.  But many of the mothers on here have an exclusively negative view of agencies and adoption situations.  A lot of the claims and opinions made have been very generalized and do not apply to all situations. 

That said, I am an adoption and birth mother counselor.  I do work for a 100% non profit agency.  No one's pockets are getting lined.  In fact, all of our adoptions, every one, is subsidized by donations.  Fees are not based on the gender, ethnicity, or disability of the child.  They are based on the adoptive family's income.  The fees are very, very cheap.  So low in fact, that they normally do not cover even the medical bills of the birth mother (hence the subsidies).  Birth mothers who come in are offered counseling on many options, and the large majority of them do NOT choose to place their babies.  Adoption is only 1 of the options we cover, counsel, and support.  We still offer them services and support as they marry or single parent. 

I agree, there is a lot wrong with the world of adoption.  But many women here have been jaded and are so extremely negative, it almost hurts to read.  I am sorry for the experiences you have had that have led you to view all adoption situations and agencies so negatively.  We are not all bad. 

[bestpolicygirl]

Jul. 15, 2008 at 5:16 AM

First off, casjoh, let me say my heart breaks for you in what you have been through. I can not imagine your loss and I am truely sorry. I have had some inkling of this "baby marketing" that has happened here in America for some time and I do find it appauling.  My husband and I decided long ago that if we were to ever adopt, it would be an older american child that truely needed a home. ( We are struggling with secondary infertility now and are more seriously considering the option so our son can have the siblings he so desires.) I decided against surragocy for the same reasons. Children should not be bought, sold or manufactured for profits, ever!

That being said, I do want to add this to the discussion: abortion. I do not know the exact figures, but many, many children are killed every year by this horrible practice throughout gestation. The very same situations you decribe with the adoption agencies (coercsion, billion-dollar profits, lies, ect.) are legally happening in abortion clinics across the country. How much worse the pain must be for the girl with regrets after an abortion, whether she was coerced or not; her baby is dead and that can never be taken back! I do not at all mean to down play the suffering you or your child have endured, but take comfort in that she is alive. Many young mothers suffer in silence the rest of their lives because abortion is both legal and secret. (My husband has an older brother in heaven that we remember from time to time: my mother-in-law aborted her first son and regrets it deeply. She has since told her story to girls concidering abortion to disuade them from it. )There is only one situation where I would wave money in the face of a birth mother: on the sidewalk in front of an abortion clinic. Even if all that does is stall her and allow that mother time to feel her baby kick and decide to keep the child, my disappointment and heartache in not adopting that child would be worth saving a life. If a mother is so determined to be rid of her baby that the only options she are concidering are abortion or adoption, I would pray she choose to place that baby in the arms of someone who wanted him/her. Thank God that you love your child enough not only to let her live, but to miss her not being in your arms. Not all children are so blessed. All of the adoptions I have witnessed among my friends were of children that were truely abused and/or abandoned. Too many children like them need homes.