What would you do? Need advice!!!

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What would you do? Need advice!!!

July 9, 2008 at 6:18 PM by motherofangel
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Okay so, my baby daughter has down's and I have to spend alot of time with her. I also have a 4 yr old who really doesn't understand even though I have tried to explain things the best I know how. She is very jealous of my time and I set aside time alone with her, but this isn't working. I include her in everthing I do with Leila, and even do the same things with her, bur she still feels left out. She is starting to act out, and she's also going through a phase where she wants to pretend she is a baby in my belly. Any advice would help, maybe there is something I'm missing.

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Written by motherofangel on July 9, 2008 at 6:18 PM
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Gosh, That is a tought one. Maybe you can arrange playdates? She may benifit from play therapy with a child phsycologis or therapist that specializes in toodlers. What about family (grandparents, aunts, uncles) that can spend time with her? Special time with daddy? Just a few suggestions, maybe other parents of special needs kids can help..... there is a group here for parents of special needs kids. Good luck

Daneene

BrisMom Jul. 9, 2008 at 6:25 PM

I really don't know what to tell you . Your doing everything right. This is just a phase, she will grow out of.

My Alex is also 4 . He was very needy at first too , and wanted more time with me. But as soon as he understood how important he was in his brother Adams learning. He was so excited to be of help. My Adam has Down syndrome. he just turned three.

Alex helps everyday . Playing blocks , helps Adam walk around holding his hands. He loves his brother.

He is in no way Jealous. He does not understand why brother can't walk on his own yet, but he loves helping out.

You will get through this .

Best of luck

Martina Adam's mom

adamsmom05 Jul. 9, 2008 at 6:49 PM

Is your baby daughter about 2-years old? It looks like it from the picture of your two little angels. I'm sure you're spending adequate time between the girls, but your 4-year old may be picking up on something that you don't realize.I'm not a child psychologist, but with your 4-year old pretending to be a baby inside your tummy could be a clue that's what she wants to be, "the baby" because Leila is the baby and with that being said the youngest ones do require more attention. In your case, your youngest one requires more attention than others because of her downs. What if you give your 4-year old tasks to help with Leila, you know something alone the lines of making her feel like she's a wonderful big sister to Leila and big helper to mommy. Could it be that she wants to be needed in this capacity? Perhaps, you're already doing this with her. Maybe just continue to reinforce all of this with praise & thank-yous for her effort.

guardainangel61 Jul. 10, 2008 at 6:59 AM

I have the same issue with Noah and the twins getting so much attention. I was told to make sure I make time just for Noah. Do something with him where the twins aren't included. I know it is hard. Noah feels like the twins get all the attention. Even though most of the time it was therapists coming it did not matter it was attention. I try everyday to sit and read a book with Noah without anyone around or play a game with him. He is my little helper and does enjoy doing that. I started a rewards chart with him and he thinks he is very special becuase the tins don't have one. Anyhing you can think of that has only to do with you other daughter will help. Sorry this is all I can tell ya. If I think of anything else I will let you know. Just know you are not alone...I deal with this daily. Sometimes he even says "you love the babies more than me" Breaks my heart.

vickiand4kids Jul. 27, 2008 at 8:14 PM