Judging Others

[happy2bmom0406]

The statement "Walk a mile in someone elses shoes..." is really something everyone should take seriously!  A lot of people here have opinions on how others should act when faced with a situation but they usually are wrong.  They have no idea of how they can truly respond to a situation until THEY actually have been there.  Here are some examples of how I judged people and have been dead WRONG!!!

Tight Clothing:  One of my "pet peeves" is girls wearing tight clothing.  I am so tired of women and little girls dressing like hookers every time they leave the house.  One day I saw a woman with a newborn and a little girl (about two) at the grocery store.  She was wearing pants that she was bursting out of.  They were so tight that she was "spilling" out on top.  I rolled my eyes and said to myself "she is a mother, how can she dress like that".  WELL one day...after I gave birth to my daughter I had to go to the store.  My two year old son spilled juice on my maternity pants so my "pre-baby" pants were my ONLY option.  I had to wear pants that made me look like a can of biscuts after it is broken open!!  I was sooo embarassed!!!  A woman walked by me, holding her cell phone and wearing ALL KINDS of jewelry!  She hissed at me and laughed, looking me up and down!  I realized right then that I was that woman I rolled my eyes at earlier!  The woman that I made feel bad probably had no other options as well.  I judged her and I WAS WRONG!!

Stay at home Mom:  When I was a working mom I thought that stay at home moms had the easiest lives!!  I am a stay at home mom now and some how I am sooooo much more exhausted!!  The expectations of those around you just EXPLODE!!  Everyone thinks you are always available and everyone needs you!  You hardly ever get to get out of the house and others see you as lazy!!  I realized that during the day, when I was at work, someone ELSE was taking care of my child!  When I started staying home I was not taking away work, I was adding a different job!  I was taking over all of the daily tasks that my children needed that the school/daycare worker/other parent was doing!!!  SOME working moms (not all) act as if their child is just sitting and waiting for them to come home like the dishes or laundry, something you can do after you get home from work.  They don't, they eat all day, poop all day, need to play, need to be read to, need stimulation, need exercise etc etc etc!!  I am so lucky to have done both, it really made me realize that being a mom is not easy no matter what you do during the day!!  I WAS WRONG AGAIN!

Vaccines:  I used to think that the "green our vaccines" campaign was unnecessary.  I though that the risk of poisoning from vaccinations was too small to even worry about.  I thought that the Autism Epidemic was over exaggerated.  My son turned two, he got his series of vaccinations and then guess what...MERCURY POISONING!!  I should have read the literature!!  I should have listened to the warnings!  My poor son is suffering because I was too closed minded to look into this epidemic!!  It was easier to judge and ignore it!  I WAS AGAIN, WRONG!!

Organic and Natural Healing:  I also used to think that people were CRAZY for using herbal treatments for medical conditions.  Then I got over treated by antibiotics and could not fight a deadly infection!  I was hospitalized for two weeks and it did not look good!  Because I was over treated with antibiotics for almost thirty years, there was no hope in the medical field.  My friends went to the health food store and cured me!  Not only am I cured of that infection I have learned how to treat myself naturally and do not have issues with antibiotic immunity.  AGAIN WRONG!!

Finances:  I HATED people who collected welfare and other social programs!!  I thought they were all loosers and lazy!!  When I got sick I had no where else to go!  A few months in the hospital and my finances got out of control.  I ended up having to get WIC and Medi-Cal for my children!  That one hit me soooo hard!!!  I felt so low and like such a failure!  I luckily am getting back on my feet but I am really humbled by this one!  I thought because I am smart and hard working that I would always be okay financially.  It is UNBELIEVABLE how fast you can loose everything!!  AT LAST, WRONG!!

This is just a few of the judgements that I made.  I have made many!   You never know what will happen in your life and if you are SMALL MINDED and JUDGEMENTAL you will not be able to avoid situations!!  The only way you can avoid a situation is to realize that you are vulnerable too!  Stop being closed minded little brats!!  It does not make the world better!  If you see someone making wrong decisions, help them, counsel them, or educate them!!  There are horrible people out there!  They will make us think that EVERYONE is like that but I believe they are a small percentage!!  Learn from the TRUE loosers, the ones who hurt people and feel nothing.  They are not the majority though.  Most people have gotten themselves in situations and are good people waiting for forgiveness and help.  Most people will rise above even if there is no help!  Most people will not only overcome but will go out there and help others not make the same mistake.  AND to all of you ladies who sit around and judge others...GROW THE *&%$ UP!!!

[Jen528]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 5:22 PM

I totally agree with you.  Judging people and forming your own perceptions without knowing all of the details can cause more harm than good.  Here is another example of judging someone from my own experience:

Earlier this year I started my own Mary Kay business from home.  I was doing a Skin Care Class and one of the girls that showed up was late, looked like a million bucks and seemed to have an atiitude.  My first impression of her was that she was a stuck-up snob and reminded me of the girls in high school.  Well, I was nice to her because that is how I run my business, but I wasn't overly friendly by any means.  By the end of the class, when she was placing this huge order with me, I got to talking to her and realized that she wasn't stuck-up at all - she was shy and self-conscious as hell.  She didn't even know she was beautiful.  Now, whenever I run into her she talks to me like we are best friends and I am still in shock.  If I wouldn't have been doing business I know that I would never have approached her and I would still think she was a snob.  Now it makes me wonder how many people don't talk to me because they have judged me before getting to know me. 

[happy2bmom0406]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 5:30 PM

Thanks Jen528!  I have done that too!!  When I used to see beautiful women I would IMMEDIATELY judge them as snobs, now I know better!!  I was just jealous because I was not "blessed" with beauty!  Great example!!!  I really think people need to look at their lives and see how many times they have done this!  Thanks again Jen528!!

(Original Poster)

[jeana]

Jul. 10, 2008 at 5:33 PM GREAT post!

[SantaMom]

Jul. 11, 2008 at 9:18 PM Love it... guilty as charged!

[mamajuls64]

Aug. 2, 2008 at 2:23 PM

<---has judged!  Guilty!

[MemawBrie]

Aug. 2, 2008 at 2:27 PM

We're all guilty of having negative opinions, that doesn't always constitute judging. Stating a fact like, "Those tight pants don't look good on you"  isn't judging. It's stating the obvious, regardless of the reasons the woman may be wearing them.

[jalex]

Dec. 12, 2008 at 11:55 AM

Great post and I totally agree!  Too many people pass judgement without taking a step back and knowing facts.  It really is not our right to judge people...  I have changed so much through the years and have many opinions, but know that I am not all knowing and now I live and let live ;  )

[MommyJanice44]

Mar. 15, 2009 at 9:56 PM

Amen I was just on the group advice for moms , good ness The reply I got were so rude about us mom w/children that have autism. the CNN report that was on , they said we were on are high horse and now it is proven that the vaxs don't cause autism so now we can shove it all I said was you have got to be kidding me WOW !! they went off bi--  I just left the group , You watch they will each one with there mean remarks one day they will  I know this also to be true will be walking in are shoes one way or another. So I loved what you wrote it is the cycle of life.. Thanks that was great..