1.  Shaved my arms.  When I was thirteen my mother gave me this ancient electric shaver which had been my grandmothers.  I sat in the bathroom, by myself, to shave my legs.  The thing had two settings.  "Legs", and "Arms".  So I shaved my legs and then my arms.  Didn't realise it meant underarms.  Had to wear long sleeved shirts for two weeks, and they were so prickly.  Felt pretty dumb.

2.  Swam in the Oregon Coast ocean in December, just because I felt like it.  F-f-f-freezing.  But I was young and loved the ocean, and actually, I think the water is warmer in the winter time than the summer time.  Go figure.

3.  Ate maggots.  Yep.  In college, I took a few months off and went to Kenya, where I lived way out in the country in this little village.  The people were great, super friendly.  But I was hungry the whole time, because nobody had enoug food.  And every night we'd have this stuff made out of white cornmeal called ugali, along with this sort of cooked cabbage.  Sometimes we'd have a bit of meat, but it was very tough, and there was the tradition of giving the meat to the men, and the broth to the women.  Anyway, maggots got into the cabbage and we cooked em up anyway for the extra protein.  Not bad.  

4.  Had a big, traditional wedding in a lovely old church in an off-white silk dress, while being OBVIOUSLY seven months pregnant.  Lovely ceremony.  Ever seen Barbara Streisand's Funny Girl?  

5.  Almost died.  Had one of those "near death" experiences.  While preparing to go to Africa, I had to take a bunch of shots.  Didn't have enough time, so got them to give me a bunch all at once.  Then I went back to college and smoked a huge joint.  Then I ate a HUGE bag of peanut M&M's.  It's up for debate what actually did it, but I felt terrible and flopped down on my bed-----which was suddenly a hill under a tree, a very green tree.  And my dead grampa gave me a book of pictures, and opened it for me, and I fell backwards through the pictures------and the pictures were of my life.  And as I fell backwards through the pictures, I thought "uh oh, this can't be good" and when I fell back onto the grassy hill, I roused myself and stumbled out into the common room at our dorm and shouted "call 911".  They did.  I passed out.  Came to in the Ambulance.  Had a seizure.  Came to in the ER.  They said I shouldn't do drugs anymore.

So that's it.  I'll bet there are people out there who have done this stuff.  But perhaps not exactly like I did it.   And it is all true.  

Tags: list, five things, journal question, death

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