One of Those Mommy Days (Long)

[izzimommy203]

So I get up earlier than my daughter so that I can get some homework done while I can think straight and uninturrupted.  I get done with the bulk of the work and mommy's little princess crawls from my side and into my lap and I give her my best smile and say "Good Morning!" even if it isn't  one. She looks smiles back and says "Juice, Ammm, Ammmm, Eat". So I take her down stairs thinking "She could at least have said "I love you, or Good Morning before wanting food", but I dismiss that though b/c a 17 month old doesn't know they are not being appreciative, I mean she did smile at me. I should have been thankful she even gave me a smile and didn't wake up screaming. 

 So I feed her, putting on her bib and start to give her the raviolli. She flicks the fork and not only did the raviolli and its juices miss the bib, but it bounced off her  onsie where the bib stopped, bounced off her leg and then into my lap and on the floor. Then I'm thinking if the baby got messy what was the bib for? So she finishes eating, after spitting out the last bite of raviolli onto the floor. I clean the mess off her face, clothes, floor and my clothes, and right after I'm done, my mind rushes to the homework that I have left.

I get back upstairs and turn the tv to PBS for the last 30 minutes of the children's programs until 2pm. So I get back on the laptop and start pecking out notes, *peck*peck*peck "Mommy!!! Juice!!! 10 minute break to take her downstairs only she really doesnt want the juice she wants the attention. Back upstairs *peck*peck*peck (she is climbing on my back) "Mommy! Giddy UP! Giddy UP!" (Five minutes of bouncing and attempting to type)-bounce*peck-bounce-bounce*peck-bounce-bounce-bou*peck-nce Then she goes to play and then  I have 15 more minutes to peck away until the cycle starts over.

 Then I am looking at the clock. 3pm, I have 1 hour to get Isis sleep before I leave for class. 90% of the time I fail and then when I leave it is "Bye Bye, Outside (She thinks she is going, but then I put her in her uncle's lap so she can't follow.) Tears, Screaming, my brother trying to calm her. I'm just trying to go to class. It is for her I have to tell myself. I have to finish, just two semesters left after this one. Just until May.  I spend 6 hours at school, because I have to get there early and class is 4 hours.

I come home to a happy and tired, but still energetic baby. Finally she is sleeping and I look at the clock 3:08am, damn, I have to do this all again tomorrow, but I have until May, I have until May. I look in her face and think of how beautiful she is to me, how I want to give her the world in an economy like this. God I hope she doesn't remember times this bad. I say my prayers over her, and sleep, ready for tomorrow.

Tags: baby, daughter, feelings, mommy, rough, school, stress, stuggles, times

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