Im not sure why I feel the need to hang on to him, he doesn’t do anything for me. Is it because I feel trapped? I am a single mother of 2. I do it all on my own. I am not asking for sympathy. I am only asking for love and assurance. I get neither. He doesn’t text me to see how my day is, he doesn’t txt me to tell me he loves me. But he does txt every other bitch in the book. I really want to just end it. But I don’t know how..everytime I get like this I do it and then regret it…why? I am a beautiful, successful mother. I do it all on my own. Like I said before he does nothing for me. So why cant it be easy to walk away. Hes 3000 miles away for good grief!! I want so bad to just leave…But I keep thinking…what if. I keep thinking, how can I raise my son alone…then I say, Ive done my daughter for 7 years…im so lonely and upset and I am not sure how to cope with it. I keep repeating to myself that I need to leave, I need to move on…but he keeps pulling me back. I do love him and I do want a family with him…but he cant come to CT until next YEAR…he is on probation and cant leave…I told him in a txt msg that if he would stop talking to those girls then we would be fine…but you know what…we wouldn’t.. and he WONT. He doesn’t care for me. He doesn’t want me. He needs me….why cant I just let go…I can come up with all the reasons why I should and all the reason why I cant…im stuck in the middle wondering….why.

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Jul. 16, 2008 at 11:54 AM I did make the first step into...counsling.

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Jul. 16, 2008 at 12:10 PM Sometimes, it's hard to let go of something we want so bad.  If he cannot stop talking to other women, then, it's time to say goodbye.  You will only continue to feel bad about yourself and the pain will not go away if you allow him to stay in your life and make you feel like this.  You ARE beautiful.  I think you need to work on loving yourself before you can have a relationship. I am working on loving myself right now as well.  I need to learn that I am an awesome woman, whether a man loves me or not.  Right now, no man loves me, and I'm ok with that.  Heal your heart first, be ok with you, love you, and in time, someone will come along that will make you feel grand.  But for right now.. let him go... Let it go..

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Jul. 16, 2008 at 12:10 PM

Cause its easier to hang onto something you know than to go into uncharted territory.

I had a relationship like this when I was a single mom. What I wanted from the relationship and what I got from were 2 different things, but I hung onto it with dear life.

Then, one day, I took the leap and let go completely. I realized I was still lonely even with this guy in my life.

Very soon after, I started thinking that I really deserved better. I decided to date, more like audition a man for more of my precious time. I decided to be really picky and made a list of all the things I did not want in a guy... my family thought I was crazy for ditching a guy who brought me flowers, but yelled at his dog to fiercely... or who talked badly about his ex or the one who spoke to quietly or the one hated his job... 

This led me to finding a man who did call to see how my day was going, who did give me that love and assurance and who did live up to everything I *knew* I deserved in a relationship.  That was 3 years ago and I still get calls asking how my day is going... and  we are still madly in love. 

Not only did my new guy make a great partner, he also made a FABULOUS dad. My son told said "I love you" before I did to my man!! And when you are single mom, you guy isn't just dating you, he's dating your kids, too. When you start to think in terms of what a man has to offer you and your family, you'll find the right one for you... 

Couseling will help, I'm sure, kudos for you for taking that step!!  


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Jul. 16, 2008 at 12:12 PM


I just recently found out how to do this whole new mommy cafe thang and I came across your story.

about...Why you cant let go..and i just thought I would say this ...allot of women think they cant move on and leave that one man and sometimes we get so stuck  on that one man. and ask our selves why? well, let me tell you this if u don't mind.

you look like a very pretty young hard successful mom and I have been in your situation before I was out on my own when I was 15 and have been ever since I was in a relationship with my children's father for 7 1/2 years!.I was really un happy never thought i would leave the asshole. any to make a long story short.

i ask that same question for five years I had lots of mental physical abuse thrown at me and I finally did it ! i let go ! that was the best thing I could ever do! so i guess I am say-en if you do let go it may not seem like its the best decision now but, later in a few years or so when you have moved on and found that wonderful prince charming! then you will thank god every day! that you took that step because you are worth alot more then you think and deserve a good man that will love cherish and secure you from harm! and so  I will stop! haha.

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Jul. 16, 2008 at 12:37 PM Aw hunny...I can definitely relate. I have had to cut off ties to a person that I loved dearly and it was hard. I felt numb for months. I am glad you are seeking help... you need the self strength. Men don't realize a good thing when they have it!! It's so hard to find someone who truly loves you and is willing to fight for you... and I see that in you for him... and he's taking it for granted! La whore!! *sigh* I hope the best for you girl. :-S

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Jul. 16, 2008 at 7:07 PM

One day you'll find the strength to move on.  It's probably going to take a while though.  Whether he's good for you or not means nothing...your heart doesn't care about that.  Give it time.  It's not like he's here to remind you of it every day.  Be patient and keep reminding yourself of how beautiful and talented and smart and successful you are.  When the time comes that you're ready to let him go it'll be a piece of cake.  Stay strong and keep venting.  It's not good to let all that build up!

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Jul. 17, 2008 at 9:20 PM

Because its so much easier said than done.

But you're right:You CAN do it on your own. You are anyway. He's not going to grow up anytime soon,short of a miracle. You are way better off at this point than I was,because you KNOW you are beautiful and a good mom. DOn't ever let him take that away.

A clean break would be best but like I said,easier said than done. I got you,though. If you need me....

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