We have been watching America’s got Talent since it debuted a couple of years ago. I was skeptical, but it turned out to be rather fun. It got even better last year when Brandy was no longer judge (killing a chick on the freeway tends to make someone less appealing to the studio audience) and was replaced by the Sharon Osbourne. I love me some Sharon. She is smart, feisty, and still seems so sweet and genuine after all she has gone through. In addition to the judge change, they got rid of Regis, and brought in the man that is Jerry Springer. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!

Last year was awesome. There were the Glamzons, who were this group of larger ladies, who were fantastic in their dancing. I loved watching Piers, the other judge (a kinder, gentler Simon) drool over them. A couple of amazing singers, despite the fact that I don’t approve of singers being on this talent show (that’s what the other big one is for). This one guy sang a version of a Sting song that just blew me away. It was kind of Jack Johnson plus Bob Marley with a dash of Sublime. The best part was that the guy who won was truly remarkable. He was this ventriloquist who truly loved his craft, and was just amazing to watch. The best part was when, as part of their star studded ending shows, he got to sing a duet with Kermit the Frog. That was just so freaking cool.

So this brings us to this season. Still a ton of fun. The guessing game of whether or not Hasslehoff is drunk is amusing every episode. The usually kind voter in Sharon was tested big time this season when a Ozzy impersonator came on. Let’s just say he would have been better off not insulting his idol’s wife with such a bad singing voice.

My big question now, is, where do these people come from? I know everyone is looking for the 15 minutes. I have seen the audition lines for American Idol, and even though this show isn’t as big, the crowds seem to be. It is crazy! Only a handful of them possess any real talent. There are the few that are marginally talented. The others make up for their lack of talent with an abundance of confidence. How can anyone think that some of this stuff is good? Last night we watched the prior week’s episode. There was a couple who claimed to be the best Polka Dancers in the US. They danced to Walkin on Sunshine, and badly. I worry about Polka if this is the best they have. There were people who walked on glass, sang off key, and tried to get their pig to paint. The funniest part about the pig was that they couldn’t get the little porker off the stage because he kept snapping at people. Yet every one of these folks would swear that they were worth a million dollars. They just knew that these judges must not know what they are seeing. Where does that come from? Look, I know my faults. I know I lack talent in many areas. Sure, I can sing decent enough that the boys don’t get too mad when I wail through a version of Blue’s Clues, but I would never go on the show. I am not that much of a crazy person.

And they all have a story.

Look, I know there are people with real talent out there they may never get discovered because they are poor. But come up with a new story next time. This one has been played out. Yes, you came from a broken home. Who hasn’t? Shoot, if I wanted to, I could twist my story into the same thing. My mom was never home. Sure, she was at school, trying to get an education to get a better job, but she wasn’t much of a mom on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Those days were hard for me. Oh, and get this. When I walked home from school, I had to unlock the garage door myself because my dad was not home yet. He would get there an hour later, but still, I cried every day. If only my parents loved me enough to be home more. They took me to all the soccer games on the weekends, and practice 3 times a week, but did they take me in a limo? Nope. Man, I had a crappy childhood.

I am not mocking the ones who really had it tough. Yes, you struggled, but that doesn’t give you talent. Hell, these days it doesn’t even give you character. Jewel slept in a car for something like 3 years. Yes, she was a huge star at one point, and not so much now, but either way, it should not matter. If you like her music, you like her music. Don’t buy a CD based on what kind of upbringing they had.

I watched several children be paraded on this giant stage in front of the very cruel audience. They would twist and bend, or play a guitar, or just sing, sounding like a spot on Fivel from An American Tail. Sure, it was cool for a kid, but is it better then the people dancing their asses off? Probably not. So why allow your kid to do this round, go to Vegas, only to be judged harshly and have their dreams shattered all because 3 people they have probably never heard of felt their performance lacked something. It just seems wrong to me.

I watched to many people go through that were horrible. Just plain horrible. How is it that they were so angry when they were booted?

I will continue to watch, as I am addicted to train wreck TV. I just sometimes wonder if these people end up offing themselves after the taping. Or do they wait to see the show when it airs later, see how they looked on the show, and still think they nailed the audition. I am not sure what is better. I mean, we may need to thin the heard, don’t you think?

Tags: america's got talent, tv review

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