Well as some of you may know & some of you may not know; my hubby & I are splitting up & my kids & I are moving to MO in about 3 weeks to a new place that I bought on my own (without him). He will be remaning here with our house until it sells & for now our 3 foster children are going to be staying here in the house with him ~ they are all teen-agers & they are happy & comofrtable here & they chose to stay here rather than get moved since they know how the system works & they don't want to start bouncing around. Here they are treated as family & they have all been here for quite awhile & they like it ~ it is their home & they chose for it to stay that way. I am obviously very concerned about my own children since they will not only moving away from thier daddy but also from the only house they have ever lived in & it's their comfort zone ~ they are all excited & keep telling everyone that they are going to their "new" house but I know that they don't really get what it all means (especially that daddy won't be there too) ~ they will be living close to their grandparents & cousins & Aunts & Uncles & all for the first time which I think will be great for them becasue they love their family & it will be nice to see them more than just a few times a year. But I am really stressing about the effects this is all going to have on my kids & myself for that matter ~ I am going to be single again for the first time in 10 years & the first time ever as a mother. I am scared of finances; at my new house & at my old house that the husband is keeping for now since we are technically still married & all of this still belongs to both of us ~ he has never in his life managed bills (he went straight from mommys house to me) & he is very irresponsible with money. I'm worried about getting my child support on time each month since I will be heavily relying on it& about all the bills at our current house getting taken care of on time. What if he screws up all the money & the bills don't get paid or my child support doesn't come in time to get all my bills paid on time etc..... & what kind of terrible effects is all of this going to have on my babies? I'm so scared & I'm so stressing out right now ~ the closer it gets the more I wonder how everything got so messed up & how I think it's going to get even more messed up in the months to come!!! I'm sure this has alot of rambling in it but I'm stressing out & I can't sleep & so I am up & messing around on Cafemom. Any advice or stories of been there & here's what I did.... would be greatly appreciated.
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I'm so sorry - I had no idea. I wish I could offer you some concrete advise, but you are experiencing exactly what I am afraid to experience if I were to ever leave my husband. I think the fears have kept me here sometimes. I applaud you for taking the step, you are a strong strong strong woman / mom that will be able to handle everything that is put in front of you. If there is one main thing that stands out about you it's definitely strength. We all have our moments of weakness granted, but you will always flourish I'm sure.
I would like to share that I have frequently thought that although my husband is horribly responsible with money now, I have this big feeling that he would be better with it if he was on his own because he would have to, and wouldn't have me to fall back on - as well as I think he would be better with the kids because he would have to because he wouldn't have me to fall on. Perhaps it will be the same for you?
I'll keep you in my thoughts!!
- beardfamilyof5
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