The Mental Game of Losing

[DreamnBigEliza]

I am constantly asked about motivation. How you get it and keep it.  For me the biggest part of losing weight is the mental part and I think most would agree. A friend on CM asked me about motivation this week and two more letters followed it almost exactly the same. I KNOW it is something we ALL struggle with so please let me share my thoughts that I sent her in hopes it may help you if you too are struggling.

First we have to figure out why we sabotage ourselves. I think about (this may sound silly, but it is what I think) what Dr Phil says: "What is the payoff?" There must be a payoff if we CHOOSE to do it over and over again. I realized for myself that my payoff is that it felt safe. I thought, well I know everyone likes me for me. If they are my friend they like me me even though I am fat. My husband loved me despite me being fat. That felt good. Will he still love me at 200? 210? 220? 230? Of course I didn't sit around and think those things but in the back of my head--that was my payoff. It is silly seeing it in words but our minds are strange things.

Then we have to get rid of the excuses...This is hard.

*everyone else is eating ice cream

*one won't hurt

*I deserve it, it was a hard/good/stressful day

*I don't have time to workout

*I don't like he taste of water

Etc...oh we all know the excuses can go on and on. They are different for all of us but we all make them.

Getting started...and sticking to it. Make small goals to start. Things that are a small challenge but not outlandish that you think would be hard to do long run. Simple things such as...Drinking one glass of water before each meal, taking a 10 minute walk with the dog or kids, turning up the radio and DANCING with your hubby, choosing to have a salad 2 nights a week for dinner, having a replacement bar or protein shake for one meal, taking a daily vitamin...When you set some mini goals and feel like they have become habit and you are happy with the progress you have made add a few more.

The biggest thing is that his is a LIFESTYLE. It has to be things you can live with. My number #1 is accountability. I have great support with my job and the people I work with and coach. There is support everywhere. Find it, use it. AND BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. Have even ONE person who you check in with and tell everything to--the good, the bad and the ugly. Someone who will gently encourage you to make the right choices and who can pic you up when you fall. 

Lastly, journal. Write down how this makes you feel. Do you feel empowered, scared, excited...what is holding you back? Only you can. I encourage you to write down WHY you want to lose the weight. Put it in your bathroom, on a vanity, a fridge. Re-visit it often.

In regards to accountability and what I do...Please write me if you want more one on one help with this. You all have no idea how your notes encourage me (when you think I am encouraging YOU!) --I suppose I am selfish! LOL, seeing others make grade strides and lose is a reinforcer that we ALL can do this! 

 

 

[graciebeth]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 10:09 AM

great post, Elizabeth, I get so inspired reading your posts. You have done so great.

[angelwings2000]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 10:13 AM I am afraid I have allowed myself to backsllide since the move to the new hosue, new job and other external stressors. All excuses. Perhaps your post will help me find a way to rid myself of my excuses and get back on track. Thank you.

[BaileesMom83]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 10:40 AM I need some accountability... I use all of the excuses above, and then some.

[dannysgirl77]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 10:42 AM

I always love when you post, they are all super great!

 

My pay off must be, that this way...If I don't try too hard, no one will know I failed.

[vicesix]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 11:12 AM I think that the number one reason I have been able to change so drastically is that I have made eating healthy and exercising a lifestyle instead of just a weight loss effort. I know it's cliche, but it really is about adopting these habits as part of the way you live routinely, without really having to think about it. I don't crave my Friday night pizza anymore; it doesn't really occur to me at this point that it's even something that's an option, if that makes any sense. It gets easier as time goes on and you become accustomed to not binging, not having that bowl of ice cream when you've had a lousy day. Now, when I'm craving something sweet, I reach for a small cup of sugar-free chocolate pudding, and that always does the trick.  It's the same way with exercise--I hardly even think about it anymore. Working out 5 days per week has become just something else I expect to do, like paying bills or brushing my teeth. It's a habit. And once these changes just become a part of who you are instead of something you're having to force on yourself, that's when the real rewards begin, when it's not a struggle anymore.

[Tini]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 11:46 AM

Thanks for the great words!

P.S. I meant to tell you before... I LOVE the new haircut!

XO

[LILTIGERS]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 1:54 PM

Girl you are amazing!! Thanks for the encouraging of writing these journal..I also LOVe your hair cut too! Im doing so good Im so proud of myself plus I love having friends who are doing amazing like you!

Oh could you refresh me on the WOW>?? Thanks!

[Briyawna]

Jul. 17, 2008 at 2:09 PM Awesome post...I loved it!...My tubro jam max results will arrive on Tuesday...I cannot wait to get started on it =)

[SensualScents]

Jul. 18, 2008 at 1:45 PM Thanks for posting this. I recently joined a step class ($2 per class, cant beat that!) in an effort to motivate myself. Simply put...I sometimes just don't FEEL like working at it. I would rather have a magic pill. But I know thats not the right way to do it...so here I sit trying to motivate again LOL. Anyway, this post helps alot!

[Dollylove]

Jul. 24, 2008 at 6:37 PM

Thank you so much, I am going to start posting a lote more on my profile about how I feel Good or bad,

so I hope to see you there and let me know what you think.

Mary