Debate and the mommy wars

[crystalklear]

Why do people feel the need to tell everyone else that everything they do is wrong?  Well everybody THINKS they know everything, but they dont.  I think people should debate with respect that people have different opinions, and sometimes they honestly are not the best ideas.  You RESPECTFULLY give them the information without saying "YOU ARE POISINING YOUR CHILD" or "YOU ARE GOING TO CAUSE THEM LIFELONG PROBLEMS" or whatever.  People read the facts from either non-bias or at least mostly non-bias sources, and sometime they may actually change their mind about something.  That's the PURPOSE of debate.  To get people to go to your "side" by statement of facts and SOME personal experience is ok depending on the debate.  Not from this group, but some other debates have changed my mind at least SOMEWHAT about ALL these topics (and I'm stubborn and bullheaded)

-Cloth Diapers (used to think WHY BOTHER, now use them)
-Elimination Communication (used to think it was stupid, now kinda tamper with it during the daytime at home)
-Vaccinations (used to think non-vaxers where dangerous hippys, now do selective vaxing on a different schedule)
-Benefits of Breastfeeding (Used to think formula was "just as good" but it REALLY cant compare, and should be only used as a last resort)
-Extended Breastfeeding (used to think ICK! Now I'm nursing my 22 month old, with no problems going longer)
-Homosexuality (specifically marriage) why are we pushing moral thoughts on civil liberties?
-Circumcision (I used to think why WOULDNT anybody, now I say I can see why some people DONT, but I still do)
-Abortion (I dont agree with it still, but I understand why some people feel that its their only option, and respect them for that)
-Healthy living (used to think it was all a hype, now I try to do what I can to eat better with more natural foods)
-Govt control in general (used to think it was no biggy, now I wish generally speaking they'd stick to the big stuff instead of treading on our personal lives)

those are a few anyway

SOME people actually ARE in debates for good.  I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, CIO if you want to on a 2 week old baby.  I wouldnt do it, but hey, its not MY baby.  I'm going to want to TELL someone that it is WRONG, and here is why.  (other people beat me too it lol) 
If someone says formula is just as good as breast-milk I want to correct them cause I used to think that.  People many times think "eh, SUUUUURRREEEE breast-milk is better, but come on, formula is really just as good" and NO its not.  Should you beat yourself up if you CANT bf, or dont for whatever reason?  I just want you to make the best INFORMED decision.  I was ignorant with my first.  Ignorant about a LOT of things.  I get more informed as I grow.  As I go through life.  As I debate. 

I hate it when people are all "skittles and sunshine up your skirt" about stuff.  If I think you are making a bad choice, I'll tell you.  If you STILL choose to do it even after you know the facts, that is up to you.  A bad choice is not always a dangerous choice.  I make bad choices with my kids.  I let them have ice cream for breakfast.  I let them have caffeine after 7.  I let my daughter spend hours on the phone.  I let my girls have a tv in their room.  Will that kill them?  Will that destroy them forever?  no.  Are they good choices?  No, but I am doing what I can to keep my sanity.  Will I make a dangerous choice.  No, of course not.

You have to choose your battles.  You have to decide what works best for you, and if you are confident in your decision, you shouldnt feel bad if someone tells you that its a bad decision.  Dont get defensive if you are ignorant.  If someone comes at you attacking you, tell them to F off.  If they come and respectfully give you the information that tells you that they disagree with your stance on something, listen to them, sometimes they know what they are talking about, and dont be so proud to admit that maybe you were wrong. 

Sometimes things are different parenting decisions, sometimes there are good and bad parenting decision.  Information is the key to knowing the difference.

The problem with the "mommy wars" is that it IS a war.  its attack and defend.  It SHOULD be the mommy debates.  State your stance, and back it up.  True debate isnt attack and defend, its statement of facts and sometimes there isnt a clear "winner"  People walk away with different ideas.

[pinkfanta1]

Jun. 16, 2009 at 11:11 PM great post!! have the exact same views unbelievable. Except Im still on my first and already think like you do.