Losing my gram in the sudden fashion I did has taken its toll on me. Tomorrow I turn 30 and she'll have been gone only two weeks. Her and I had plans and now we can't do them. What makes it harder for me is my grandfather (gram hubby) died a few weeks before I turned 3 and I asked for years why can't he be here he told me he would be. Now 27 years latter she's gone and I'm asking the same thing. What's worse is my daughter very innocently told me well mum you don't have to be 30 you could say you are 3 since it's 30 backwards. So thats made things harder. I wish it wasn't so.........

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