I am everything but what I ever dreamed of being,
And yet all the things that I have always been.
I am a sister,
The boss, & the employee,
I am also a mother, of all of the things that I have listed, this was the most frightening role to take on. Being a mother has also become my favorite role in life
I remember being a kid. 10 years old, sitting at my best friend house, talking about what we would be when we grow up.
We were in 5th grade. 5th Grade.. damn that doesn't seem like that long ago.. it's been 11 years since then.
I remember all the thing that I wanted to be, and the things that I wanted to have, all the things I wanted to see and do.
I dreamed of being a teacher, a nurse, admirable positions in life, teachers mold the lives and minds of our future leaders, Nurses heal the sick, and assist in bringing new life into the world.
I dreamed of going to college, learning new things, and seeing new and different places, traveling the world!
11 years have gone by.. I still cant believe it.. 11 years..
I am not a teacher and I am not a nurse. I have not traveled the world, hell, I have barely traveled away from Tulsa.
I am manager at a call center.. A job that started out as being "A place I was going to work until I found something I really want to do." Haha.. it has been 4 years.. 4 years and I haven't budged.
I met a boy a few years ago. When I met him.. I didn't even really like him that much.. but somehow he managed to steal my heart.
something about him took my breath away without me ever really realizing it.
He completes a part of me that I didn't even know existed.
All the other things that I wanted back then.. all those things lost alot of them importance the first time he told me he loved me. All of the great things that I wanted to do seem so tiny compared to the happiness that I am filled with when I hold our daughter in my arms...
Ask my mother.. I swore growing up that I would NEVER have children. I grew up in a large family, that had sort of a traumatic past. And I felt like I was not capable of raising a happy child, because my early childhood was so broken.
I will never for a moment regret the birth of our daughter.
She is the greatest accomplishment that I have ever made.
All of the things that I am,
The boss and the employee
The lover and friend,
There all the things that God destined me to be.
and for now.. all i can say is let it roll!!
thanks for reading..
I know its just a ramble... but i just had this need to blog tonight..