Leaving so soon...

[MariahB]

I have decided to leave Cafemom. I have given it a lot of thought and this is not where I need to be spending the majority of my time. there is something bigger waiting for me and it deserves more of my time than I have been giving it. No this is not my resignation from my cause. this is the true beginning. Thank you for those who supported and taught me here... you certainly won't be forgotten. Cafemom is a terrific place and I think my views and opinions could be of more use in other mediums. This is a place of refuge for mothers not a show down and I think it would be in everyone's best interest if I took my opinions elsewhere. I am still starting the blog and I will be sure to let you know where to find it once it's started (for those who are interested in where this might be going). I wish you all nothing but the best.

[maddiesmom107]

Jul. 24, 2008 at 6:12 PM

I wish you all the best in whatever/wherever your journey takes you! I admire all of your energy and passion. I've only got two kiddos at home and struggle to figure out healthy meals, much less try and change the world.

At the very least, know that you did make a difference here and have conversations going about this topic. I had no idea that there were people who were so dead set against the concept of adoption and placing children with families who would love, take care and provide for them. I've worked with too many children who have horrendous lives at the expense of their parents and just need one good strong adult in their corner.

If you do end up leaving, good luck to you. If not, take it all with a grain of salt and know that affecting change is never easy, thats why most people won't .

[orangeorbie]

Jul. 24, 2008 at 11:03 PM

It's not foster care adoption we're against--it's mostly infant adoption.  The world doesn't need more mothers and their babies to be separated unnecessarily.  I have nothing against a family adopting a child who has been waiting for years for a family after being abandoned.  What I have a problem with is society, the adoption industry, social workers, counselors, and parents pressuring a mother to give up her child because of a temporary situation--finances, marital status, or support system--all for the almighty dollar.  And if we didn't, we were going to be looked at as horrible and selfish.   You reflect what's misinformed about society's view of the natural parents--that we gave our children away willingly and happily, and that it doesn't affect us afterward.  Actually, the majority of us were coerced by many of the forces listed above and it destroys many of our souls.  And it's not just the natural family...it's the adoptee as well.  The moms in my groups would be happy to steer you toward books on the lifelong issues and pain that an adoptee typically feels.  And to pain our babies is NOT in their best interest, especially if it was unnecessarily.

[elwalters77]

Jul. 29, 2008 at 8:40 PM

I wish you wouldn't let the criticism get to you.  There are a lot of PAPs here on cafemom that support you and your goal.  We'd love to stay in touch with you and see where your efforts take you.  Either way, best of luck.